Fallen Angel
by Nico15
Summary: Something happens that destroys Ritsukas life...
1. Prologue

Prologue:

It was deep in night.

No one was out at this late time. So no one noticed the figure who dragged itself over the asphalt, with bloody clothes and an empty glance.

The steps echoed heavily through the dark alley. His body felt incredible heavy but he didn't even notice that. Also he didn't notice the rain which fell on him for hours now. His glance was fixed to the ground. He didn't note his surroundings.

For how long he already strayed around, above all, where he was, he didn't know nor could he tell. His glance was empty and unreceptive for everything happening around him. His mind, his spirit… all that wasn't around him anymore. He had closed them down, trapping them within himself.

What he had seen, experienced, tonight had destroyed his already fragile soul completely.

His legs crossed the street as on their own without paying attention whether it was empty or not and dragged him with them. On the other side was a street-lamp. His feet stopped there. Although it was very bright… his eyes seemed glued to the lamp as if he hoped the light could carve a way out for him, back into life which seemed to have left his body. But it just didn't succeed. He was trapped to deep within himself.

Suddenly there were steps behind him which stopped when they reached him. Slowly, hauntingly he turned his head when he sensed the presence of another person next to him. When he cautiously looked up all he could see was a black shadow. His view was clouded. The person seemed to say something but the words couldn't reach his ears. The shadows surrounding him kept increasing. The figure seemed to merge with them more and more up to disappearing completely. Everything became dark, his legs lost their strength to keep him upright.

He fell into a deep darkness…

End of prologue

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Jippieh! My first chapter... This is the first story I write...

I'm sorry for mistakes, if I made some... you have to know... English's not my first language. I have to get used to it... but I think I'll manage. So please forgive me. ;-)

Thanks for reading!


	2. Searching

Chapter I: Searching

A beautiful warm summer day. The sun was shining, the heaven was cloudless, the wind was blowing softly through the leafs of the trees, the flowers were blooming, birds were singing... just a perfest day. Well... almost perfect.

Such a day normally made Yuiko Hawatari's heart grow with laughter. She was a heerful girl, always with a smile in her face. But not today.

The chair next to hers was empty. The boy normally sitting there had not shown up today. That was very unusual. Since she knew him it had rarely occurred that he had not come to the lessons. If he was ill his mother would have called, right? But Shinonome-sensei had called the Aoyogi's and could not reach anyone. So where was Ritsuka? Did something happen to him on his way to school? Had he been kidnapped? But who…

"Yuiko Hawatari! Are my lessons that boring!"

The pretty girl jumped at the sudden voice and stood quickly.

"Ah… no! Of course not!"

She laughed hastily while her teacher folded her arms before turning towards the rest of the class to continue her lesson. Yuiko sighed relieved. Slowly she sank back on her chair before once again glancing to the empty place next to her. She couldn't put her mind at rest, she had to find out what was going on with her friend. To her luck, she knew someone who had to know the answer.

-----

The bell rang signaling the end of school. Yuiko hurried to gather her things, then she immediately stormed out of the classroom. Yayoi's shouts for her went unheard. In a rush she pushed the doors open and arrived as one of the first pupils outside. Frantically she looked around, Her eyes lit up. Of course he was there. From far away she could identify the tall and handsome form of the young man who often, almost daily, came by to pick Ritsuka up.

But Yuiko's joy quickly disappeard just as fast as it had come when a thought crossed her mind. If Soubi Agatsuma was waiting for Ritsuka in front of the school then it had to mean he didn't know that the boy had not shown up at school today. Her cat ears and tail dropped. With a lowered glance she slowly walked up to the art student who was smiling once he noticed her. He let his cigarette drop. After all, Ritsuka didn't like him smoking, especially in front of the school gates. He turned towards the girl but his smile faded when he noticed she was alone. Yuiko understood.

"Ritsuka didn't come to the lessons today, Soubi-san. I was hoping you knew what's up with him."

The young man seemed to be surprised but his usual cheerful smile was quickly back in place.

"Well, he has to be ill then, right?"

Yuiko quickly shook her head.

"No! Shinonome-sensei tried phoning his mother but she couldn't get through! Nobody answered!"

Soubi frowned slightly at this yet tried to not frighten the young girl anymore. He kept his voice calm and smooth as always.

"Then I'll go and check about him. Don't worry, Yuiko-chan. I'm sure everything is alright. He probably just overslept and didn't dare to show up so late to your lessons."

The girl still seemed to be worried yet nodded and watched him turning around. Her glance was on his back until she couldn't see him anymore. With a sigh she turned towards Yayoi who had finally catched up with her. Her friend breathed hard before looking up to her. He frowned.

"What is it, Yuiko-chan? Are you alright?"

Yuiko nodded slowly trying to smile.

"Yeah… I'm just woried… that's all."

Yayoi's heart shattered and his eyes glanced downwards in defeat.

" … Aoyagi-kun, right?"

She nodded slowly. However, after a few silent shared minutes she regained her usuall happiness. Laughing she grabbed Yayoi's arm.

"But I know Soubi-san will take good care of him. Come on, Yayoi-san! Let's get some ice-cream!"

The poor boy just got the chance to shriek quietly before the hyperactive teen- girl with the long pony-tails dragged him with her down the streets.

As soon as he was sure Yuiko couldn't see him anymore, Soubi's smile faded and was replaced with a frown. He had lied to Yuiko. Even though Ritsuka didn't want him to know, he kept it a secret for obvious reasons… Soubi knew about his family situation. His former sacrifice and Ritsuka's older brother Seimei had once mentioned something (Soubi had made a note of this Information because it rarely occurred that Seimei Aoyagi talked about his family). He remembered clearly hearing the other one cursing his mother for hurting his younger brother once again. Besides… Soubi was not blind. He saw the bandages, the injuries and pain behind each of them. He saw the boy with new bruises and cuts every day… they were not the result of one of their fights. Soubi would knew that. Also he made sure that the boy arrived safely home every day. So there was only one possibility. His eyes darkened. Ever since he had realized the truth he had wanted to do something against the woman who beat her own son. But he knew that Ritsuka still loved her. After all, she was his last relative still alive. Where should he go once sche was gone? An orphanage? No way. Ritsuka would never survive that. Life there was depressive and sad. Nothing for a sensible boy as Ritsuka. Besides, he himself could never stand a life without the innocent pure boy. So, all he could do was trying to stay calm and let Ritsuka believe his secret was still a secret. As long as the teen didn't want his help he could do nothing against the situation.

Soubi turned a corner and was already near at the home of his sacrifice. He couldn't help but feel more and more worried. So he tried to calm down his heart and thoughts.

Nothing happened…

The boy was alright…

He was ill, had overslept, his mother was at work, that's why the teacher couldn't reach anyone at the phone…

No need to worry, everything was alright.

The thought of nursing the ill boy caused his lips to curve into a tiny smile. What ever plagued his sacrifice the fighter would definetely ease the pain.

Once he had reached his destination he glanced up at the building. His worries came back with all force. The house seemed to glow with a dark aura. He could feel that something bad had happened. Instantly he took his usual route into the house and stood just a few seconds later on the balcony. The curtains were closed, good or bad? With a shaky breath he slowly reached out for the door. It was unlocked as usual. Definetely good. Quietly he opened the door and took a glance around.

"Ritsuka?"

The bed was empty, no Ritsuka. Soubi's anxiety increased. Maybe he was downstairs? Quietly he opened the door and peek around. No one in sight… He frowned. Finally he noticed what it was that made him suspicious.

It was quiet. Too quiet. There was no sound in the house. As if no one was at home… So what was with the boy? Did something happen to him on his way to school? Had someone (god prevent) kidnap him?

Instantly Soubi rushed down the stairs to search for his precious sacrifice. He opened every door, put the whole house upside down. His anxiety worsened with each door he opened and closed again without having found anything.

Finally, there was just one room left. His eyes darkened, his heartbeat became faster. The young man breathed deep in before slowly reaching for the piece of wood that seperated him from his last hope. He couldn't keep his thoughts together. With a heavy heart he grabbed the handle and turned it pushing the door open.

His heart stopped and he paled. Ths was obviously the kitchen. The whole room was a complete disaster, with fragments of dishes and broken chairs everywhere and the floor… the floor was red. Red on white tiles.

Slowly, ever so slowly the details reached his brain. Red on white… the liquid was shimmering through the sunlight falling in by the windows. An odd smell was hanging heavily in the air. He swallowed hard. An eternity later he found the strength to move. Slowly, with careful steps, his feet moved further into the room. His eyes were focused on the floor. Still he watched out to not step into the blood. Finally he managed to look at the whole scene…

… and his heart stopped.

-----

His feet carried him as fast as they could through the streets. He searched eerywhere but couldn't find the young boy. Dawn was near, soon it would be to dark to see something. Soubi's legs stopped to let the fighter catch his breath. He tried to think.

In the kitchen he had found a young woman lying on the ground… lifeless. But Ritsuka was still missing. His shock was soon gone yet his worry had changed into sheer panic. The thought of not knowing what had happened to he teen paralyzed him and stole his strength. His breathing was hard. Even though he hated to admit it… he didn't know where he could look for his precious one any more. He had been everywhere. At Yuiko's and Yayoi's place… at Shinonome-sensei's… the park… he had even walked back to his old school, the "seven moons". But he couldn't find Ritsuka. Every place turned out to be a dead end.

Soubi forced himself to calm down. There had to be a way to find his sacrifice. He had to be somewhere… no one simply disappeared without leaving behind a clue.

The air became chilling, he started to shiver. His hands found their way into the pockets of his warm coat. By doing this his fingers brushed over a small object. Without really realizing it he pulled it out. His eyes went wide. His handy… and it was turned off. Suddenly his senses came back. Surely, Ritsuka had tried calling him but couldn't get through. Instantly he pressed the bottom to turn the telephone on in an attempt to call the other one. However, just as he was about to speed-dial him the handy rang. Souby startled. With shaky fingers he answered,

"Ritsuka?"

His hopeful smile faded. He sighed.

"Kio… Right now I have no time for you, I…"

He frowned when his friend interrupted him.

"What do you mean? He…"

He listened and finally relaxed.

"Thank godness. And I thought…"

Again Kio interrupted him. While listening his face frowned.

"Alright. I'm coming."

With that he hung up, turned around and ran the way back he had come.

End of Chap. I

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Yeah, the first Chapter is done! **jumps high**

Thanks for reading and reviewing. You guys encourage me and help me with continueing. I hope you liked it. Bye bye, your nico.

To reviewers:

Kyuusho Yume: Thanks for reading. I hope you like this chap too. You were the first to give me credit to continue. Thanks! **hug**

KyoSohmaLuver: I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your head is better now. Headaches can be a real pain… I usually get one on Fridays… don't know why. Thanks for still taking your time. It means a lot… **hug**

Sorawindgoddess545: Thanks for your review and for checking my language. I'm glad there were no mistakes. **hug**


	3. Lost and Found

**Chapter II: Lost and Found**

His steps echoed through the now empty streets. He didn't pay any attention to his surroundings so it was good that there was no traffic anymore. All he could think about was reaching his destination and the call he had received.

Finally he turned the last corner and stood now right in front of his apartment.

He hesitated. This was the only place where he hadn't searched for his precious sacrifice. Why? He hadn't even thought about it. With a deep sigh he forced himself to calm down before he slowly made his way forward and up the stairs. He kept his glance focused on his apartment.

Kio had been acting strange. Something about his voice made Soubi suspicious. Suspicious… and afraid. He hadn't listen to him as usual. All he had done was telling him to come home as fast as he could.

With a heavy heart he reached the end of the stairs. Again he hesitated.

He didn't know what awaited him behind this door. Cruel images flashed in front of his mind eye. What he had found in his sacrifice's house… he shudderd again at the thought. What if Ritsuka… no… Kio would have mentioned something important like that. But on the other hand… Kio had mentioned nothing at all. Just that he had found Ritsuka and was right now at Soubi's apartment with him. And that… that something was wrong with the boy.

Soubi's breath quickened and his hand was shaky when it finally reached for the handle.

Alright.

No matter what sight awaited him behind this piece of wood… he would manage. They would manage. It was not the first tough situation they had handled.

But… none of this situations had been as tough as this one…

Slowly, ever so slowly, he turned the handle…

Suddenly the door was opened and his surprised glance met the sight of a very frustrated Kio. His blonde friend seemed to be distracted, his short blonde hair was in a complete mess. His hand was clutching his handy.

"There you are! Where have you been! Come on! Don't waste time out here!"  
Soubi had no time to answer, he was already dragged inside and the door was shut behind him. The fighter wanted to ask his questions but found himself speechless at the sight.

Ritsuka was sitting on his bed dressed in one of Soubi's long shirts. His eyes were focused on the floor. The Zero-boys were sitting next to him. Youji had his arms crossed and a thoughtful look on his face while Natsuo had his hand on Ritsuka's. Both seemed to be worried which was very unusual.  
Soubi frowned. Those two never shew feelings towards other people than themselves. The young college student wanted to run over to the bed when Kio held him back.

"Wait!"

Soubi longed to hold the young boy close, tto make sure he was unhurt, but forced himself to calm down. He needed to know what had happened. So he simply nodded.

"What happened?"

Kio sighed. Finally he had the beauty's full attention, but not because of himself. No, now was not the right time. He brathed deep in, then started his story.  
"I found him when I was onmy way home last night. He was a complete mess, with bloody clothes and all."  
Soubi gasped so Kio hurried to continue.

"Don't worry, it was not his blood. Well… some maybe. He has a cut on his arm but it's not a big deal. He also has bruises but his injuries are already healing. I brought him here because I knew you wanted to take care of him. But neither you were here nor did you come home at night. Where have you been, by the way?"  
His friend sighed. He felt no need to talk about the fight he got in. Now was not the time, anyway. Ritsuka was more important.

"Kio, please…"

"Alright alright."  
The other one glanced over to the youngest one in the room who was still comforted by the two most uncomforting teens alive, before slowly continuing.

"So I brought him here, cleaned him up and took care of his wounds. The brats have tried to find out what happened, but… to no avail. Soubi…"  
Soubi's frown deepend. His real name? He had never seen his friend that serious. Kio didn't even use his nickname for him… Kio hesitated before carefully adding:  
"… he hasn't said a word ever since I found him. He hasn't eaten anything or slept. All he's doing is sitting there starring at the ground. More like starring at nothing. I wonder what happened…" He added more for himself.

Soubi's blue eyes traveled over to his sacrifice. His heart felt heavy with compassion.

"… his mother committed suizid."

"What!"

Kio's mouth was wide open in shock. Youji and Natsuo looked up but didn't leave their place.

Soubi nodded slowly.

"I found her body."

Kio's face turned serious again.

"No wonder that he doesn't react in any way. He's in a shock…"

The fighter's face darkened.

"She possibly did it right in front of his eyes…"

Kio gulped. His friend sighed but knew what he had to do. Quickly he took out his cell and searched through the contacts before handing it to Kio.

"Here. Please call there and tell them what happened."

The other student was perplexed but immediately left the room when he recognized the number. Soubi hesitated only for a moment. The he made his way up to the three teenagers.

"You two…"

Natsuo and Youji looked up while Ritsuka didn't even blink. Soubi sighed but continued:

"You know where Ritsuka lives, right?"

Both nodded.

"I want you to go and get his things. Use the way over the balcony, then you're right in his room. Hurry!"

The younger fighter and sacrifice looked at each other before obeying. They both knew better than annoying a serious Soubi. Both left the room. Finally the fighter was alone with his sacrifice. Slowly he bent down in front of the boy.

"Ritsuka? Ritsuka, can you hear me?"  
Still the young boy didn't react, as if he hadn't noticed his fighter who was now kneeling only a few inches in front of him. Soubi waited a few moments. Ritsuka's dark eyes seemed to be completely lifeless, blank… normally the purple orbs were sparkling with emotions and with life. But now… they were completely empty.

Soubi's hand reached for the younger one's shoulder shaking him slightly.

"Ritsuka! Are you with me!"

Again he got no reaction. Ritsuka just starred down at the floor. He didn't even blink. Soubi couldn't help but pulling the boy down, right into his ams to hold him tightly. He noticed that the small body was icy cold. Soubi couldn't keep himself from thinking about the dead body at the Aoyagi's house.

His blue eyes closed tightly, his heart felt heavy. He couldn't help because he couldn't ease the pain the boy had to suffer. In a helpless attempt to comfort him he stroked the small back.

"It's alright, Ritsuka. You'll see. We'll manage. Everything will be alright. You'll see. You'll see…"

End oh Chap. II

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Note:

Wow… this was difficult to write. I haven't read the manga, so all I have is the anime. I'm sorry if one of them is OOC..

Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing. It's not as hard as I thought it to be, so I guess I can continue this. The next chapter is already planned. ;-) I hope you still like the story. Bye bye!

To reviewers:

SoraSakura: hehe… it's good to see you have an account now. So I can read your stories, too. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing. **hug**

Random Irony: Thanks for reading both stories. I really was unsure about my Rockman-fic. It was my first attempt at writing shonen-ai. Hehe.. I guess I'm a fan now. And I have decided to turn it into a story. I just need some time to think it through. Thanks for your review. I hope you enjoyed this chap, too. Guess, Ritsuka could need your hug now… ;-) **hug**

Kimper: Thanks for taking your time and for reviewing. It helps me to continue. I hope you like this chap, too. **hug**

Kurai Eymru: Hehe.. I promise I won't need half a year to update.I don't like discontinued stories, so I just start writing stories I'm sure I can finish. Although I'm not quite sure about some endings though… I'll just see how it will turn out. Thanks for reading and reviewing. It helps me keeping my inspiration. ;-) **hug**


	4. Consequenzes

Chapter III: Consequenzes

He didn't know how long they had been sitting there on the floor. Ritsuka still had not reacted in any way. Soubi's hand was gently stroking the boy's back while the fighter himself gave his best to keep his calm. Everything had happened so fast.

Soubi's heart felt heavy. Mrs. Aoyagi, Ritsuka's mother and only relative, was dead. Had he seen it? Was this incident the reason he was in this shock? Of course… the boy was pretty sensible and caring. Such a horrible scene just had to break his soul. Soubi sighed and looked down at the trembling teen in his arms. How he wished to just take the pain to deal with it himself… his sacrifice was too young… too sensible… to innocent. It was not fair. What would happen now that Ritsuka had no longer someone to take care of him? Again he sighed and placed a soft kiss on the younger one's forehead. The boy was finall safe from the woman that had always hurt him. But to what costs?

He turned his head when he heard the door open and the Zero- boys stepped in. While Youji closed the door Natsuo walked up to the two siiting on the floor and dropped a bag he had been carring.

"Here. That's everything we could find."

His voice changed to a softer tone.

" … how is he?"

Soubi was still surprised. So Ritsuka had managed to change Zero, too… The once careless and pain-loving fighter held so much pity in his eyes that the student had to smile, which quickly faded once he glanced down.

"Ritsuka?"

Still no reaction. He sighed and shook his head. The fighter with the curly hair nodded sadly. Youji came up to them. His purple eyes held no emotion.

"We've looked everywhere for his things. But in the kitchen… what happened there?"

Soubi's face darkened when he remembered the horrible sight of the dead body. Plus, his sacrifice may be in a kind of shock but he still could hear every word they said. So he hushed the unsensible teen with one single look and declared with a determined tone:

"Not now. No more questions."

Normally the two boys were no one to simply obey, but Natsuo understood. So he grabbed his sacrifice's hand and tugged him over to the tv where a game console was installed.

Soubi silently thanked him before once again turning his attention to the young boy in his arms. Gently he stroked the dark hair and whispered soft words.

"Ritsuka. I know this is very hard for you. If only there was a way I could help you and ease your pain. But I'm afraid there is none."

Again his lips touched the other's forehead.

"I'm here for you. If you need me… maybe you want to talk about what happenend last night… you can always come to me. Ok?"

He wasn't surprised when he got no answer. The teen didn't even flinch. Soubi sighed.

"It'll be alright. I promise. I promise…"

He closed his eyes and buried his face in the dark hair of his sacrifice. This way he couldn't notice the dark shadow that appeared for the slightest second in Ritsuka's eyes.

The sounds of the video-game Natsuo and Youji were playing brought the fighter back to reality. The boy was still wearing his shirt… and only his shirt. He couldn't walk around in this. The student reluctantly released his sacrifice to seat him back down on his bed. Then he grabbed the bag Natsuo had dropped beside him and searched through the things Zero had packed. Finally he found what he had looked for. He handed the pair of jeans to Ritsuka.

"Here! Please put these on. We don't want anyone to see you now, do we? What would they think of me?"

His lame attempt of bringing Ritsuka's mind back to him failed. Normally the boy would blush furiously and scream at him, especially with the Zero-boys in hearing distance. But now the dark eyes didn't even blink. As if he hadn't heard the suggestive words… Soubi frowned but dressed the boy nevertheless himself. With great relief he noticed that Ritsuka was still wearing his under-wear. So Kio hadn't undressed him completely, he had just taken of the bloody clothes. After finishing he smiled softly.

"There. All better."

He threw a glance towards the door and muttered mostly to himself:

"I wonder where they are…"

Loud cries were filling the room. Youji was pouting over the game he just lost.

"Hey! That's not fair!"

Natsuo laughed.

"I won!"

His sacrifice crossed his ams and turned away.

"Just because you cheated!"

"Liar! It's absolute fair to throw your opponent into the lava-sea. Look… there! They say it themselves! No cheating, I've won. Sometimes you're such a crybaby."

Youji turned red.

"I'm not a crybaby at all!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Am not!"

And on they went to rent at each other. Soubi couldn't help but smile. If those two weren't in a fight they could be really childish and innocent in their own twisted way… just like his own dear sacrifice… who would have ranted with the other boys if he only had been himself. Again Soubi sighed and turned to the teen seated on his bed. Gently he stroked his cheek.

Suddenly the door flew open and Kio came in. He was followed by a young woman with short brown hair. She immediately headed to the bed and knelt next to Soubi. She took one glance at Ritsuka than turned to the student beside her. Her soft voice was just a whisper, only audible for Soubi, so that the teen couldn't hear them.

"I'm Dr. Shouko. I don't know how you got my number. Ritsuka surely didn't tell you that I'm his Psychologist. But that is not important at this time. Your friend over there told me already what has happened so please leave me alone with him. I need to talk with him in privacy."

The blonde fighter nodded.

"Of course."

He took one last glance at Ritsuka before he stood up and walked towards the small group. He urged them all out and closed the door of his apartment.

While Natsuo and Youji sat down on the stairs to coninue their little rant Soubi leaned against the railing. For the first time since he had found out about Ritsuka's absence he allowed himself to relax. Even though the situation was still the same he was very relieved to know Ritsuka was in professional hands. Never ever had he felt this helpless in his life.

For the first time there was absolutely nothing to change things. He had to let this stranger handle the situation for him.

She knew what she had to do.

She had to.

After all, she was a Psychologist, right? She would help his dear little boy and make him come back to Soubi.

Everything would be alright.

Kio leaned against the wall with his arms folded. His eyes were fixed on his friend. Finally he had enough of the other ones depressed feature. With his usually big smile he nudged the other male.

"Ne, Sou-chan. Don't let yourself be down. Sensei knows what she does."

Soubi absently nodded before giving his class-mate a strange look. Kio laughed nervously before blushing slightly.

"Öh… she… she has to know… that's… her job… right?"

When Soubi's face didn't change Kio quickly shook his head.

"No no! I don't know her! Really! Oh…"

His head dropped. Soubi chuckled qquietly and placed one hand on the other's shoulder.

"Thanks, Kio."

He sighed.

"I just hope that Ritsuka will be ok. He's just too young to deal with such a situation…"

Kio turned serious again and nodded. They waited in silence for the doctor to finish her session. Finally the door opened and the young woman stepped out. She threw one look back before turning to the men in front of her. Soubi's eyes immediately lit up and quietly asked for an explanation. Shouko-sensei sighed and closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I can't tell you the details. I'm under the obligation of secrecy. All I can say is that I'll take Ritsuka with me."

Soubi's face darkened.

"What?"

The doctor was surprised but quickly found her smile again.

"No need to worry. He has now no one left to take care of him so I'll take him to a hostel where people can help him. He needs professional mental help to overcome this new trauma. You surely understand this."

Soubi was torn. His heart told him to argue, to walk back into his apartment to cradle the small boy in his arms while his mind knew better. Ritsuka really needed help, help he couldn't give. So he sighed but nodded. Shouko-sensei smiled and turned to walk back in the building. Seconds later she came back out. One hand was holding the bag which held Ritsuka's belonging. The other one was tightly wrapped around Ritsuka's.

"We'll go now."

Soubi sighed again but managed one of the soft smiles he only held for Ritsuka. He bent down to look in the dark eyes.

"I'll come and visit you. I promise. Goodbye, Ritsuka."

He got no reaction but didn't let his sadness show. The boy was in no state to react. No. Soubi had to be patient. The other three also said their goodbyes before watching the doctor guiding the teen down the stairs to a car that was parked there. She opened the door for the boy to get in before slipping in the driver-seat.

Soubi was emotionless yet his blue eyes darkened while he watched the car slowly driving out of his sight. His heart felt more heavy than ever and he himself felt totally lost.

What would happen now that his scrifice was no longer with him?

End of Chap. III

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Yet another chapter is done. I'm quite surprised that it goes so fast. Also I'm not sure about one thing... does Soubi know about Ritsuka's meetings with a psychologist? It wouldn' t surprise me. I know for sure that Kio sees her, too. Anyway... this chapter is a present for my birthday. **Jay** I love birthdays… ;-)Alright, enough. Thanks for taking your time and reading this. I hope you like it.

To reviewers:

SoraSakura: Thank you for keeping your loyalty. I really appreciate it. I'll check your stories, too.

Promised. Thanks for taking your time. **hug**

eternalsailorsolarwind: Yes, it was suicide. She had to do it, I don't need her for the plot. ;-)

Normally I don't like suicide but otherwise this story wouldn:t work. Thanks for taking your time. **hug**

Random Irony: Thanks for the welcoming. **bows** I still feel a little bit unsure but I think I'll manage. You know… you kind of inspired me

for my RM- story. And don't worry, I always finish my stories. They are like… my children. ;-) I feel responsible for

them. Anyway, thanks for taking your time. **hug**

darkangel36: Thanks for taking your time. I kind of feel bad for Ritsuka, too. He always has to

suffer… and he's still so young… I hope you liked this chapter, too. **hug**


	5. Living without reason

Chapter IV: Living without reason

Soubi sighed. Two days had passed and he still hadn't heard any word from his sacifice. He was beyond worry. What had those people done with him? Why had no one called him? Well… okay… no one knew how much the boy meant to him… no one except for Kio… but hey… that really was no reason to keep him in the dark. He had often treated Ritsuka's wounds, had seen him in bad conditions… but never before had it been this serious. Soubi sighed. How he longed to hear the boy's voice… to touch his skin… to simply spend his time with him. For three whole days he was now Ritsukaless… and it felt like a withdrawal treatment. Yeah… that described the situation pretty well.

He couldn't concentrate neither on his studings nor on his surroundings.

He was strengthless.

He was joyless.

He was lifeless.

Never ever would he have believed that he was so dependent on the young boy- a child. He may have just followed an order he had received when he had stepped into Ritsuka's life. But already after a few days he had felt himself completely drawn towards the younger one. He had enjoyed his time with his new sacrifice more and more. He had quickly recognized that the younger one was the only solid thing in his life, the only part of his life that counted. Now he was unable to live without him. The last few days had been boring and endless.

The blonde fighter groaned. It was already late afternoon yet he couldn't find the strength to leave his bed. There was just no reason to. He had skipped school today, he couldn't concentrate anyway. It didn't matter… nothing was important any more.

Not without Rituska.

Another groan. Now he couldn't even stop thinking about him… Slowly his hand reached under his pillow and pulled out a small picture. He smiled.

There he was. Sweet and innocent as usual. It was his favourite photo of his sacrifice. Ritsuka was actually smiling… just for him. It was a small smile but at least it was honest. They had been at the park again to make new memories. Suddenly a small bird had landed on the boy's finger. Ritsuka's face had lit up with sheer happiness. Although Soubi hated such useless creatures he had to smile. They managed to elicit a smile from his sacrifice. So they weren't useless after all… he had learned that afternoon a lesson from Ritsuka: No matter

how small, fragile and useless a being seemed… it still had a great influence on another creature, like flowers on women, babies on their parents… and birds on Rituska. He couldn't

help, he just had to make a memory. Ritsuka's smiles were rare… especially such a true one. Ritsuka hadn't even noticed…

His vision became blurry when he gently traced the boy's feature. Ritsuka…

No. This was enough. He was no help for the boy when he let himself be caught up in memories… memories of old times. Times that he feared would never be again… no! Soubi quickly shook his head and stood up. He had to do something before he would go crazy.

With small steps he made his way through his apartment. Natsuo and Youji were nowhere in sight. But that was normal for them. The teens liked to stray through the streets. They were both capable to watch out for themselves plus they were always together. So no need to worry.

His eyes widened when they saw his reflection in the mirror. God… he looked terrible, definitive not like his usual well-kept self. His long blond hair looked dirty and was tangled. His eyes looked blank and lifeless. He had dark rings under them. His chin even started to create a beautiful beard… Again Soubi sighed and closed the door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The bell rang signaling the end of the school-day. The doors were opened wide and the pupils ran out, everyone cheering about the free days that were coming. Only one girl was depressed.

"Yuiko-san!"

The girl turned when she heard her name and sighed when she noticed Yayoi. The smaller boy breathed hard before he smiled.

"What have you planned for the holidays?"  
When he heard no answer, Yayoi took a more precise look and noticed her sad feature. His smile died, He knew almost at once what Yuiko was thinking about. He sighed.

"… Aoyagi-kun again?"

Yuiko sniffled.

"He hasn't come to school again. I just wonder what's up with him…"

They had reached the school gate.

"Soubi-san hasn't come today either."

Yayoi, who could feel his heart brake into thousand little pieces, managed a small encouraging smile.

"Then he has to know what happened with Ritsuka, right? He would be here to wait for him. But he's not here nor did he come yesterday. Yuiko-san…"

Yuiko blinked in surprise when she saw the unusual serious glance in Yayoi's eyes.

"Yes?"  
"You don't have to worry, Aoyagi-kun is just sick, Sensei said so. He'll be back when the holidays are over."

Yuiko hesitated before slowly nodding and wipping away the few remaining tears in her eyes. She smiled sweetly.

"Yes… I know. But I really want to find out what he has. Maybe the flu… or the chicken-pox… maybe we should visit him sometime…"

Yayoi nodded slowly.

"Of course. After all, he's our friend…"

Yuiko nodded and laughed.

"Yahoo! We're going to see Ritsuka-kun!"  
She stormed off with new found happiness.

Yayoi watched her leave. When she was out of hearing range he sighed, then let his head drop.

"Yuiko-san…"  
He made a fist before screaming out frustrafted:  
"Why can't you just love me!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Kio whistled while he climbed up the stairs to his friend's apartment. Soubi hadn't been in school today so he wanted to check-up on him. The beautiful artist had been quite down the last days- because of Ritsuka, no doubt. Kio still could not understand Soubi's obsession with the poor boy… after all it was just another Aoyagi. Ok… Ritsuka was not like his egoistical older brother Seimei… but still Soubi got often injured because of him. Also, the teen came always first. Soubi would do anything for him without hesitation. Kio sighed. It had been hard to accept, but at least his friend would be safe with Ritsuka. The boy really was not the dominant and violent type. To be honest, he was the one who had to be careful. After all, Soubi was a hentai… at least for Kio. He had fallen for a teen, a boy, no… a child… and was not ashamed to show so. Hmpf… his friend definetely wouldn't think so when he had just given him, Kio, a chance… Well, now he would get his chance. Today was his day. He would cheer the other blonde up, no matter to what costs! Maybe he could just…

Kio's thoughts came to a suden stop when the door in front of him opened and the tall fighter stepped out of his apartment. Surprised he turned around.

"Kio… why are you here?"

Kio blushed.

"Sou-chan…"

He laughed nervously and showed the bag he held in one hand.

"I came to cheer you up! There really is no reason to let yourself…"

Soubi sighed and closed the door.

"Sorry, Kio. But I have no time."  
With that he passed his friend and walked down the stairs. Kio just starred before turning around with a sullen face.

"Hey… where are yu going! Sou-chan!"  
The fighter neither looked at him nor stopped.

"I'll go to see Ritsuka."

Kio stopped short.

"Huh? But how do you know where he is?"

When he received no answer Kio pouted.

"Sou-chan! Stop being such a hentai! The boy has already suffered too much. He doesn't need to be molested again! Give him a break!"

The blonde artist simply ignored his ranting. Kio stopped. He knew it had no sense to continue his lecture. Again Soubi just had one thought: Rituska. His head dropped and the bag slipped out of his hand. He really felt sorry for the teen, but his jealiousy got in the way. At the top of his lung he screamed:

"Hentai! Pervert! He'll never give you what you want! Do you understand? Never!"

Yet Soubi gave no sign if he had heard him or not. He just had one thought clear in his mind: to go and find Ritsuka. He couldn't stand being apart from him for one day more. He would make sure that his sacrifice was alright and safe.

Kio watched his friend leave, then sighed.

"Poor boy… he'll never get his rest…"

End of Chap. IV

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Whoho… another chapter done. I got my English-test back and passed it quite good. I'm so happy… I just had to write a chap. ;-)

We had to write a picture-story. I guess this story helped me a lot! I tried to stay as near at the oiginal story as I could. Especially Yayoi just wouldn't come out the same funny way he does in the anime… **drop** Sorry, if they are ooc. Thanks for taking your time and please review. Bye!

To reviewers:

eternalsailorsolarwind: Thanks for your review. I don't like Ritsuka's mother, too. I just don't understand her. What's going on in herhead? She's beating her own son! I just had to get rid of her. ;-)

-Random Irony: You can feel special. I like your stories very much. They are really intense. Plus, they inspired me. ;-) It will takealittlemore time for my RM-story. But I think I will soon start. Thanks for taking your time and for your review.

-darkangel36: Thanks for congratulating. And for your review of course. Now I'm a year older again… I feel so old… **sniff **Anyway, thanks for taking your time.

-machiko: Hehe… I hope this was fast enough. ;-) Thanks for taking your time. And for your review of course. You all help me continueing.

-SoraSakura: Thanks for taking your time. I guess this will be a veeerry long story. Please update your story soon, too. I want to review again. ;-) Thanks for your review.

Thanks for taking your time and please review. Bye!

Your Nico


	6. Alone

**Chapter V: Alone**

The room was large and filled with many small bunks. Cupboards were standing on one side, the other one led to the bathrooms.

He was sitting on his bed that was standing at the very end of the room. His legs were bend with his arms resting on them. His dark eyes were fixed on the window that shew the beautiful garden. They still seemed to be lifeless and without any emotion.

They had tried to make him talk. They had used all tricks they knew but to no avail. He wouldn't talk… he would never ever talk again. With no one. Once they had recognized this they had brought him to this building. Now he had to live here, had to sleep in this room with lots of other annoying children. They had even tried to make him play with this brats. But that was one thing he wouldn't do, either. All the people here were so annoying… he hated living with them. They always asked questions, wanted him to open up to them… but not with him. He had sworn to stay silent, to keep his memories for him. Never ever would he use his voice again. After all, it had caused him this trouble. No, it was better for everyone if he just stayed quiet.

For now, they seemed to have given up. No one had bothered him for nearly an hour, so he finally got the chance to think about everything. The other children were outside playing in the garden, so it was even pleasant to stay inside. He had refused to go with them, he just was not in the mood to enjoy the warm sun. To be honest… he didn't want to do anything. Just sitting and thinking was ok. What was there to do anyway? Everything was boring. He didn't know anyone around here. Their games were no fun.

He sighed quietly. The incident that had occurred had completely ruined his life. Okay, it had not been perfect before. To no time he had been completely happy. But at least he could do what he wanted to do. He had a home, a place where he could go after school and where always someone had waited for him. His home… he had shared it with his beloved older brother. Everything there had reminded him of Seimei and the time they had shared together.

He always had someone to talk with. It hadn't been special but hey… it had still been his life. Just his and no one else's. Now there was nothing left except for a few broken pieces. Nothing would ever be the same again. Well… one thing still remained…

"_I'll come and visit you. I promise."_

The few softly offered words still haunted him. The fighter had made a promise… and had broken it again. Again he had lied… even though he would not be welcomed here and maybe knew that already… he could at least have tried it, right? After all these days… no one had come to visit him. No one would ever come. They had already forgotten about him. They were still happily living their lifes… without him.

Adults were evil. His brother had left him alone… his fighter was constantly lying to him… his mother had betrayed him. Together they all had destroyed him. Adults were evil… it was only fair if they would never ever hear a word from him again.

His eyes darkened when he heard the other children laughing about their stupids games. Why were they so happy? Their life had been destroyed by adults, too. Why could they still keep their trust in them? Why did they still talk with them? Why did they cheer with them? He gritted his teeth. No one could understand him. No one would ever.

He could feel a single tear roll down his cheek. He had no one left. No one cared about him.

He was all alone.

Suddenly he heard the door being opened, then steps that were quietly approaching him, finally a weight settle down next to him. Still he did not turn. He could feel anger build inside of him but did not react to it. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? Why couldn't they understand that he did not want to be with any of them? He was determined. He would not brake the promise he had given himself… he was not like the unfaithful adults. He always held his promises. He would not talk… with anyone. He was all alone.

"So Ritsuka. Do you now want to tell me what happened? It will help if you talk with someone."

Never.

End of Chap. V 

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_I know, this chapter is a little bit shorter than the other ones. But I think it is important for the following happenings to know how Ritsuka feels in this rather complicated situation. I guess it's very hard to be unable to speak. No one understands you and you can't communicate with anyone beause they just don't see the signs you're giving them… _

_Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It was interesting to write yet a little bit difficult. It's hard to write down the thoughts of poor Ritsuka. Thank you for taking your time and for reviewing. Till next time._

_Bye, _

_your Nico_

To reviewers:

SoraSakura: Thanks for updating your story. I really like it very much. Also I will leave you a review. After all, it really helps. ;-) Thanks for your review. I hope you like this chapter.

eternalsailorsolarwind: I'm glad that I managed to describe Soubi's feelings. It's very difficult but I think that's the way he could feel while being Ritsukaless… ;-) In two weeks I finally get my first volumne of Loveless. **yai** I guess then it will become easier. ;-) Thanks for your review. I hope you like this chapter, too.

Random Irony: Hehe… I like your stories very much and I look forward to your LO-Story. I really feel sorry for Kio and Yayoi. Hehe… they both like person who have fallen for the same boy… guess Ritsuka is not that loveless at all. After all, he cares for them, too… Anyway, thanks for your review. Please hurry with your story. ;-)

- soubi666: I hope this was fast enough. ;-) Did you like it? It was very difficult to write. I really hope this was not to hard to read. Thanks for your review.

- darkangel36: Thanks for taking your time. I'm glad that no one was ooC. It's very hard to keep them all the way they are, especially Yayoi.;-) Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and thanks for your review.


	7. The truth

**Chapter VI: The truth**

Shouko-sensei sighed and closed the file she had been reading. All these tests, all these talks, all these meetings… to no avail.They could not make any progress with her patient. This new trauma had been just to much for the young boy. Surprised she looked up when her door was suddenly opened. After all, she didn't expect anyone at this early time. another sigh when she recognized who had just stormed in. Her secretary came in right behind the man. 

"I'm sorry, doctor. I told him he needs a appointment to see you but he just ignored me!"  
The psychologist waved her away.

"It's alright. Just leave us alone."  
The young woman nervously glanced at the stranger before turning around and closing the door behind her.

Soubi didn't even notice her leave. His piercing blue eyes were glued to the woman sitting calmy in front of him at her desk. Shouko-sensei smiled.

"How can I help you?"

The fighter kept silent. He gave his best to keep calm. Being Ritsukaless made him testy and impatient, feelings he never had felt before. It took all his self- control to keep his voice calm.

"Where is Ritsuka?"

Shouko-sensei frowned. She had been surprised when she had found out that Ritsuka had been with this guy… an adult. What was his relationship with the boy. She couldn't help but feel worried. What if this man had to do with Ritsuka's present situation? It definetely would explain a lot. She sighed yet kept her smile.

"I'm sorry but I can't tell you about his whereabouts. I'm under the obligation of secrecy."

In fascination she watched the fighter suddenly trembling. No matter who this guy was… he surely cared for Ritsuka. A lot, so it seemed. He swallowed hard. In an instant, all his tension disappeared and he suddenly seemed to be much older and broken. His voice was just a hollow whisper.

"But… but… I have to know…"

Shouko-sensei's instinct told her that the blonde could help her with her problem. So she nodded towards her couch. Soubi sighed but slowly walked over and took a seat. His eyes were fixed to the ground. The young woman stood up and walked over to him.

"So… please tell me how you know about Ritsuka. How is your relationship with him?"

Blue eyes shot up before they once again focused on the carpet. When she got no answer, Shouko-sensei turned more serious.

"Please… Ritsuka is in a very serious condition. I have to know everything about every

person in his life if I want to help him. There is no other way to reach him. I've been his

psychologist ever since his brother died. Never before has it been this bad. This new trauma has sent him into a deep shock. I need all the help I can get."

When she noted the other's confusion she smiled.

"Well… I may be under the obligation of secrecy but that doesn't mean that I can't ask for help. Being his psychologist I've made a commitment to help him with his problems. But to be successful with this I need the help of his social surroundings. At the beginning I was just a neutral person he could talk with about his problems. But now his condition has become much worse."  
She hesitated and waited for a reaction. Soubi's eyes had widened. He needed a few moments to absorb all the new infomations. He nodded slowly.

"I'm a friend of his brother. I've promised Seimei to keep an eye on Ritsuka. He always wanted him to be safe."

Shouko-sensei was reliefed. So there was no need to worry… this adult was just keeping a promise he had given his dieing friend. She nodded.

"I see. So Ritsuka knows and trusts you. Then I can trust you, too, right?"  
"Of course."  
"Good. I could really need some help. But first I have to ask you one thing: Are you willing to do everything that lies in your power to help Ritsuka?"  
Again Soubi nodded.

"I'll do whatever it takes."  
And god was that true. Shouko-sensei seemed to sense that, too, because she immediately continued:  
"Alright. Then I'll tell you the details. We'll start a new therapy for Ritsuka."

---------------------------------------------------------

"How do you know where he lives?"

Yuiko turned to Yayoi and blushed. She laughed nervously.

"Äh… Well… woman instinct?"

When her friend raised his eyebrow she sighed.

"I've followed him one day. He didn't want to tell me where he lives. So I had to find it out on my own."  
Yayoi whined.

"But… Yuiko-san… why?"

The girl didn't even hear him. She was already cheering about seeing Ritsuka again. Finally they turned the last corner and stood now in front of the house. Yuiko's smile faded. Sceptical she wrinkled her nose at the image of the building.

"This is it?"

Yayoi was surprised.

"You don't know? But I thought…"  
She laughed nervously.

"I couldn't see in which house he went."  
Again her eyes wandered to the house.

Yayoi followed her glance and suddenly found the doorplate. He frowned.

"You're right. This is his home. But… that's strange…" 

He turned to meet his friend's worried eyes.

"It almost seems as if no one is living here. The whole building is dark..."  
Yuiko nodded and walked over to ring the bell when a shout made her turn around.

"Hey, you two! You want to see the Aoyagi's?"  
Yuiko smiled cheerfully.

"I want to see Ritsuka-kun!"

The woman who was living next door smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry. But you can't see him. The house is empty."  
Yuiko's smile died. Yayoi threw a glance at her before he answered.

"What do you mean?"

The woman sighed and threw a glance at the building.

"It's so sad… everything was full with police… it was a complete chaos…"  
The boy frowned.  
"What happened?"

The neighbour sadly shook her head.

"I'm afraid I can't help you. No one around here knows what happened. But I haven't seen Ritsuka for a few days."  
Yayoi swallowed.

"Oh… thank you…"  
The woman went back to her garden work again while the teen's glanced at each other.

This was not good…

-------------------------------------------------------------

"I'll tell you the details. But please… don't be too shocked to hear this. It's very normal for such a situation…"  
Soubi sighed.

"Please… just begin. I have to know how he is."  
Shouko-sensei sighed but nodded. She brathed deep in before she could continue.

"Okay.As I said before… this new situation has made Ritsuka's condition worse. Because of this trauma he has developed a special form of autism. To be precise… since your friend found him on the street Ritsuka hasn't said a single word. He doesn't react to his surroundings. He hasn't eaten and hardly sleeps. He has shut down his mind completely from the world."

"…"  
Soubi needed a few moments to absorb the new information. When the shock wore off he only had one question disturbing his mind.

"… where is he?"

The psychiatrist hesitated but found no reason to stay silent. After all, she really needed all th help she could get to help her dearest patient. Maybe this guy could change the situation… She sighed before she answered.

"I've brought him to a local children's home. A friend of mine works there as a therapist. He is a specialist for children autism. I thought he could help Ritsuka but he hasn't made any progress. Ritsuka is not reacting to anyone around him."  
Soubi nodded slowly. He was already concentrating to keep himself fom panic. This couldn't be… not his sacrifice…

"I have to see him."

End of Chap. VI

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Okay… first of all I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my story. At first I was unsure about posting it. I'm glad that you all enjoy it. Actually, I wanted Soubi to see his Ritsuka in this chap. again. But now I'm afraid he has to wait for yet another one. In the next one the two will be reunited again. Promise. Anyway. Thanks for reading and reviewing. You all help me to keep my motivation to update.

Bye,  
your Nico


	8. Reunited

**Chapter VII: Reunited**

Soubi's glance was fixed to the world outside. He finally found the strength to think about all the events that had happened in such a short time.

Ritsuka… his poor little boy… why was life just so hard for the pure innocent child? Had he done anything to deserve such misfortune? He was just to young to deal with everything.

His brother had died…

His mother had treated him like shit… then took her own life right in front of her son.

Well… okay. No one could be sure to say so. After all, Ritsuka was the only one who knew what had happened. But it was obvious that the boy had witnessed something horrible. Otherwise he wouldn't be in such a serious condition…

Suddenly the car came to a stop and the adults stepped out. Soubi couldn't help but frown at the sight in front of him. The building was large and looked old and used. It seemed to give out an aura of unloving care. Definetely not the right area for Ritsuka. At least in Soubi's eyes.

Shouko-sensei stepped next to him and followed his glance. Her smile was sad.

"I know this is not the right place where Ritsuka should stay. This Children's home is already old and way to full with children of every age. Nuns look after them."

When she noticed the man's glance she smiled sympathically.

"Please don't worry. This place may not look so but I can assure you that it's the best of it's kind. The staff is well instructed. Everyone around here is an expert on his field. Trust me."

With that she walked towards the entrance. Soubi threw one last glance at the building before following her. Together they stepped through the doors. The psychiatrist led the artist through corridors before finally stopping in front of a wooden door with a glas window. She turned to him.

"This is the sleeping room for the younger children. Since everyone is outside I guess you will be alone with him. But please…"

Her tone became once again serious.

"Be careful. Everything you say could make Ritsuka's condition worse. I'll wait here for you."

Soubi nodded, then turned. He hesitated before slowly reaching for the handle. For the second time in his life he felt fear, not as strong as the first time when he had searched for his dear sacrifice but still fear. How would the boy react? Would he finally brake his silence? How would his life go on? So many questions…

Enough.

There was no time for those questions, Ritsuka needed him now. Slowly the door opened and Soubi stepped in. The first thing he noticed were the long lines of small beds standing at the walls. Everything looked the same.

Soubi frowned. Something caught his attention…

He stopped. The sight of the teen sitting in the farest corner on his bed alerted him. Ritsuka almost disappeared into the wall. Soubi had to swallow. That was not a good sign… Slowly, almost hesitantly, he started walking. He had to force himself to walk because his feet didn't move on their own like they usually would. To strong was the fear of what had become of his sacrifice. Finally he reached the last bed. His voice shivered like it had never ever before and seemed hollow even to his own ears.

"…Ritsuka?"

No reaction. Just like he had suspected. Or feared. Still… being the fighter he was he wouldn't just give up. There had to be a way to reach Ritsuka… Slowly he sat down next to the boy.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

Still nothing. Soubi's frown deepened. Normally these words made his sacrifice angry. The boy would blush and yell at him, telling him to stop saying words he didn't mean. At that times he looked even cuter than he was anyway., but now all Soubi got was silence. Ritsuka didn't even flinch at the words he hated most. His dark eyes were glued at the window yet didn't seem to be able to see anything. Soubi's heart sank. That was really bad… Without hesitation he pulled the teen towards himself and onto his lap to hug him tightly. Blue eyes closed when his face was buried in the soft dark hair. His next words were just as true as the one he had delivered before.

"I'm sorry, Rituska. For not preventing what happened and for not helping you. Everything will be alright again. I promise. I will do everything I can to help you. Do you hear me? I'm here for you."

Still nothing. Not the slightest movement. Just as if he was holding a dead body in his arms…

NO!

He would not believe this! There had to be a way to get the old Ritsuka back. The one who had brought him back to life, whose smile was able to lighten his dark mind and to warm up his own frozen heart… Ritsuka had been the one who had shown him that life was more than just pain and sorrow… that even he, the strongest fighter, was able to smile, to feel joy… to feel alive. His grip tightened. No matter how hard it would be… he would help his sacrifice.The love and adoration he felt for the teen in his arms were too much to just give him up.

He would get him back.

His boy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Shouko-sensei looked up when the door finally opened again. The artist closed it behind him and leaned against it. An exhausted sigh escaped his lips. The young psychologist smiled symphatically.

"I take it you made no success with Ritsuka either now, did you?"

Soubi looked up but didn't care to answer. She sighed.

"Don't be disappointed. I think I already old you that Ritsuka has developed a special form of autism. He just can't talk. His reactions will come back sooner or later when the effects of the shock he has received subside. We just have to be patient. Ritsuka will receive a new therapy that will help him. Maybe we'll even manage to brake the wall he has build around him."

Soubi suddenly felt really tired yet nodded slowly.

"Please tell me how I can help him."

She smiled and nodded.

End of Chap. VII

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Hello everyone!

Finally Soubi gets to see his Ritsuka again. I had much fun to write that part. I wanted it to turn out very emotional... guess I have to work on that part... **drop **That part was very hard to write... but I still like it. And I have to thank everyone around here. I'm so happy that you all enjoy my story. **cries**

I really was not sure if the story would turn out the way I wanted it to...but now I find it not very hard to continue. You guys helped me a lot, thank you all for that. **hug**

Thanks everyone for taking your time. I hope you liked this chapter.

Bye, your Nico


	9. Changes

**Chapter VIII: Changes**

Several weeks had passed since Soubi had finally seen his sacrifice again. His day had become quiet busy. After waking up he first had school till afternoon, then he had to finish his assignments. Meetings with Shouko-sensei completed his duties. Still he found the time to see Ritsuka every day, even if it was only for a few minutes. He enjoyed these minutes most. Although he never got any reaction, he still told the boy everything he could think of: what he had done in school, what assignments he had to paint, what Kio had done. He even told Ritsuka about Yuiko and Yayoi who were very worried. The two teenager had visited him asking about Ritsuka's whereabouts. The artist couldn't tell them the truth, of course. In agreement with Shouko-sensei he had settled on a half- truth: The boy was currently sick and therefor couldn't come to school. Yuiko had insisted on visiting him but Soubi had told her that it was impossible to see him and after realizing that the disease could be infectious the girl had stopped begging. She was still worried but the artist had assured her that he would call her if something happened. The meetings with Shouko-sensei went good. He had learned more about his sacrifice. The psychiatrist couldn't tell him everything, of course. She still was under the obligation of secrecy. But she had told him about the interesting questions the boy had asked her. Soubi had learned what his constant lying did to the teen and finally understood why he never got a reaction.

He had lost Ritsuka's trust.

The realization had hurt, stabbing him right into his heart. It had never before occurred to him that he didn't hold Ritsuka's trust. Otherwise the boy would have called him that fateful evening, right? He would have come to him because he knew that Soubi would help him. Yet he had found no other way to deal with the whole situation than shutting his mind down. Still Soubi wouldn't give up. No matter what, he would get his boy back.

_Ritsuka on his part, had made little progress. After a few days he had started eating again. He would just pick at his food, swallowing only a few pieces. But he was no longer in danger to starve himself. A few days ago he had left the bedroom for the first time… on his own. He had wandered around, looking, searching for something. For what, no one could say. That was one of Ritsuka's secrets. After finally realizing that his mother was not there, that she was indeed dead, he had decided to stay in the bedroom he had to share with the other children. The boy had promised himself to not leave the room ever again. There was nothing for him left in the outside-world. No one was waiting for him at home. Everyone had left him behind. _

_And Ritsuka hated being alone. _

_Well… technically he was not alone at all. Shouko-sensei came often to see him and Soubi visited him every day. But that didn't matter to Ritsuka for he didn't like them any more. After all, they were also adults wo had betrayed his trust, Soubi with his constant lying, never telling Ritsuka what he knew about his brother's death (even though Ritsuka deserved to know) and his constant fighting alone rather than taking Ritsuka with him; Shouko-sensei was not much better, lying about how much "everyone loved him so they had to lie at him". She even had told him that "everything would be alright". _

_Yeah, right. And that was the reason he had to stay in this old building with old nuns watching over him and annoying children who still could laugh even though the world outside had betrayed them, taking away their deserved happy lifes. _

_Unfair._

_This was so unfair. They had taken his life away from him, shuting him down from everything he knew, everything he had been fond of, everything he had loved. Now he was stuck with people he didn't know, whom he didn't even like. Therefore, he hated them all even more._

… _unfair._

---------------------------------------------------------

Soubi whistled while walking down the hallway. He was in a very good mood even though it had been a while since he had last seen his sacrifice. For a reason, of course, even a rather good one. At least in Soubi's eyes. He was looking forward to see Ritsuka's reaction to the news- if he would show one, that is. At least something would change.

Finally he reached the door he knew the boy was staying behind. He knocked calmly then reached for the handle. Slowly the door opened to reveal indeed Ritsuka sitting on his bed looking out the window… just like usual. Smiling Soubi walked up to him.

_Ritsuka's dark eyes narrowed. He had sensed the artist once he had stepped inside. Ritsuka didn't want to see him. Okay, he had kept his promise to see him, to visit him every day. Even though Ritsuka did everything to show the adult that his visits meant nothing to him, he still came and babbled about everything he could think of. But now a whole week had passed without any sign of Soubi. No visits, no phone calls… nothing. Ritsuka had been right, after all. Adults were evil, egoistical. They always thought first about themselves before turning to the children. Kids always came second, first was work. _

_Even though the teen hated to admit it had hurt him to know Soubi had more important things to do, things that prevented him from coming to see Risuka. And now he just came like nothing had ever happened. _

_Ritsuka was angry._

Still with his usual calm smile plastered in his face Soubi sat down next to his sacrifice.

"Hello, Ritsuka."

Ever so slowly the man leaned down to land a gentle kiss on the boy's forehead. While leaning back he waited for a reaction but frowned for a second when he received none. God… intended or not, Ritsuka sure punished him far more harder than anyone before. How he hated being ignored by his dear sacrifice… even though it always hurt him, stabbed him in his heart every time, he now would give everything to have the boy yell at him again, accusing him for being a liar.

No chance so.

Quickly his smile was back in place, copying his pain and despair. After all he had news to tell. His hand moved to grab Ritsuka's smaller one.

"I'm sorry for not coming earlier. But I have been quiet busy these days. School sucks and Kio is annoying as ever. Natsuo burnt the kitchen down yesterday. He was trying to make

dinner for Youji and himself but didn't remember to take the food out. They made quiet a mess…"

Suddenly he felt nervous. Would Ritsuka like his news? Or would Soubi been rejected? What would happen than with his sacrifice? To get rid of this sudden fear he concentrated on the boy's fingers, playing with them. He hesitated before turning to a more serious tone.

"Ritsuka… I have some news fo you."  
As expected, no reaction. Still, Soubi continued:  
"I know that you don't like having to stay here, with people who are strangers to you. I have spoken with Shouko-sensei about it and she agrees with me that it is not good for you to continue living here. So we have come up with a plan. That's why I couldn't come to see you last week. I had to arrange everything. Now everything is settled. Just one thing is missing…"

He hesitated again but finally looked up again to meet Ritsuka's dark hair. It took all his control to prevent his voice from shivering.

"Ritsuka… do you want to stay with me from now on? Everything is arranged. All I need is your agreement. You could leave here today and live with me. If you want that is…"

Soubi stopped when Ritsuka finally reacted. The small head spun around to meet Soubi's. The big eyes shew emotions for the first time: curiousity, surprise, but most of all… happiness. _He could leave… even if that meant he had to remain with a lying adult, it was better than staying with people he didn't know at all. _

Soubi's heart stopped when he noticed the small smile appearing in the boy's face. How he had missed this smile… He nodded slowly when the eyes he was staring into silently asked a question.

"It's true. AndI would be very happy if you let me take care of you. You have no one left and I don't want you to stay with strangers. Do you want to come with me?"

His heart screamed with delight when he felt the small finger squeeze his own hand.  
A reaction… finally.

----------------------------------------------------------

Outside, on the hallway. Shouko-sensei turned from the glass window. She was surprised but more so relieved. Her favourite patient was finally starting to make a progress. Hopefully, that was just the beginning.

End of Chap. VIII

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Hello everyone!

Another chapter is done. What do you think? Like it? I was looking forward to write it because I like Soubi and Ritsuka interacting with each other. Okay... it's more like Soubi interacting with Ritsuka but please remember... Ritsuka is currently in no state to speak. Maybe he will act again someday... I guess you'll just have to wait. ;-)

Thanks everyone for taking your time and please tell me what you think of this. See you all next time.

Bye, your Nico


	10. Time to leave

**Chapter IX: Time to leave**

"You what!"

Kio yelped when he lost balance and landed hard on the floor. Groaning he rubbed his now sore bottom before once again turning to stare at Soubi. His friend was silent but just couldn't stop to smile. Kio blinked. Ever since Soubi had sat down next to him he was grinning like an idiot. Suspicious enough, wasn't it? So Kio had just asked if everything was alright… and had gotten a ratherunpleasant answer. He swallowed hard before crawling back on his chair. He turned to check on the teacher and after realizing the moment was safe he turned to threw his neighbour an irritating glance.

"You must be kidding. No one would leave a 13-year-old child in the hands of a pervert…"

"Kio, I am no pervert."

The blonde artist growled in frustration at the absent comment. It was obvious that nothing could ruin Soubi's good mood. Not that Kio complained… it was a rare opportunity to watch the fighter smile such a honest smile. The dark aura that usually surrounded him seemed to disappear, his cold features softened, his blue eyes spakled with pure happiness… Simply beautiful. Kio noticed a blush warming up his cheeks. Quickly he turned around and glanced back at the teacher. Pouting he crossed his arms.

"…hentai…"

Soubi simply ignored this quiet comment. Nothing would ruin his good mood today. Nothing and no one.

Today was _the_ day.

Today he would take his boy home. Shouko-sensei had refused to let Ritsuka go with him before she had made a few tests to make sure the teen was stable enough. Soubi had been angry- after all, he had told Ritsuka he could come with him immediately- but hadn't shown so. He hadn't wanted to spoil his chance. So he had no other choice but to wait.

And finally he had received a call from Shouko-sensei. Ever since than he was impatient. He had to laugh at himself for feeling this way. Quiet amazing how much this little boy had changed his life…

Kio was still huffy, pouting about the fact that one single brat had the right to live with his Soubi. He turned to throw his friend an angry glance. The other blonde's smile never faltered.

"He has no one left, Kio. So he's gonna stay with me. Just like Youji and Natsuo."  
"**WHAT**!"

The room went silent while everyone turned to the young man who was lying on the floor again, with a look of shock clear in his blue eyes.

Soubi just chuckled.

_---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Ritsuka was angry._

_Again… this adult had lied. Again! Even though Soubi had promised to take him with him, Ritsuka still had to stay with these people for more days. _

_Adults were evil, lying devils who thought they could treat the younger ones without any respect, just because they were taller, older and therefore more experienced than the children. They always knew what to do, so the children had to follow them._

_Yeah. Right._

_Why did he even think about believing something Soubi told him? He really should have known better. _

_No one would come to take him away from this place._

_Dammit._

_So he would have to take matters in his own small hands._

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soubi knocked, then slowly opened the door. He frowned when he found the children's home's bedroom empty. No Ritsuka awaited him.

Not good.

Whenever he had come for a visit he had found the teen sitting on his bed with his eyes glued to the world outside.

So where was he?

Soubi's frown deepened. What had happened to his sacrifice? Why was he not there? Where was he? The artist turned when a nurse with a tray walked in. She stopped once she noticed him.

"Oh… hello. Can I help you?"

Soubi managed a nervous smile.  
"Actually, you can. I'm looking for Ritsuka Aoyagi."

She seemed to be surprised.

"What? Is he not here?"

She glanced behind him and immediately noticed the empty bed.

"Oh. That's strange. He should be here."

Soubi sighed and closed his eyes to keep control. Here he was, anxious, worried, about the only person who mattered in his life, and this woman had the nerve to…

"That's the first time he has left this room. I'm glad he's making such progress…"  
Soubi watched her while she set her tray down before placing her hands on her hip.

"Alright, where is the little one? His food's getting cold."  
The young man blinked. His little boy was missing, he could hardly keep himself under control and still…

Something outside caught his attention. Slowly he walked closer to peer through the window. The tension and worry were gone in an instant. The nurse followed his glance and smiled.

"I knew it. All children like to play outside once the sun is shining."

Soubi turned on his heels and stormed out of the room. This time it was the nurse who had to blink yet she managed to shout:  
"Please tell him he has to come inside! His food…"

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Slowly his feet dragged him forward. He was following a path that was leading away from the old building and over to the gate that would give him peace and freedom. No one had come to pick him up so he just would have to help himself. No one had noticed him so far. He could make it… the gate was so near…_

"Ritsuka!"

_His feet stopped. Someone had called him… and this voice… it couldn't be… _

_Sure enough, he felt someone grab his shoulder. He was turned around and came face to face with Soubi. _

_The man had a strange expression on his face. He had bent down to catch his eyes with his own. _

_No way. Ritsuka was angry with him. He wouldn't give him the pleasure of reading in his eyes. Ritsuka averted his glance to the ground._

Soubi searched his sacrifice's eyes when the boy glanced down. He frowned and turned to follow the path Ritsuka had walked down with his eyes. His frown deepened once he noticed which way the teen had followed and what he had intented to do. When he finally found his voice again it hid his worry very good indeed. After all, he was a master of words.

"Hello, Ritsuka. I'm glad you have decided to visit the world outside again."  
Good, just pretend you haven't noticed… Soubi wondered why his little boy had intented to leave alone… then he noticed the way the boy's cat ears dropped… and he understood. He smiled gently.

"You're angry with me, right? For lying at you again."

Even though he received no reaction he knew he was right. He sighed but kept his voice steady and serious.

"So they didn't tell you, right? Ritsuka. I really wanted to take you with me but they wouldn't let me. It's my fault, I know. I should have made sure you could come with me that day. I'm sorry."

One hand left the boy's shoulder to stroke his soft hair.

"Now everything is settled. Please believe me. I've come to pick you up."

Smiling he stood up and extended his hand.

"Will you come with me, Ritsuka?"

He waited.

_Ritsuka hesitated. Could he believe this poor excuse? Soubi always had damn excuses for his lies. It was not his fault, Ritsuka knew that. After all, he was just an adult. But his voice sounded honest… could he believe him? His mind wandered back to the path, back to thee gate, back to peace and freedom which awaited him there. For a few seconds he considered to turn and run but he instantly realized that such an action was to no avail. The adult standing before him was faster and much stronger. He would catch him without effort._

_Useless._

Soubi blinked when the boy lifted his head to meet his glance. No smile, no happiness like the first time, just hollow and empty eyes which peered into his one. The teen seemed to be disappointed in some way, but Soubi couldn't tell why.

Dammit, this was hard.

His smile never faltered while he waited for a reaction. He had to give Ritsuka reassurance. It was okay to believe him. No one would prevent him from taking this boy away from this horrible place, where no one could take care of him properly.

And finally, it felt like an eternity, the small hand lifted to take the larger one. Soubi's hand tightened it's grip and the blonde fighter nodded.

"Thank you, Ritsuka. Now, let's go and get your things. Your time here is over."

Together they turned to walk the way back towards the building.

End of Chap. IX

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Hello everyone!

It's me again with a new chapter. Actually, Ritsuka should already arrive at his new home but then the chapter would havebeen to long, so I had to split it. Again. Sorry for that. drop Anyway, I've tried something new. Since there will be more parts with just Ritsuka I have decided towrite his parts in italics. Please tell me when it gets too confusedso that I can think of another way. Thank all of you for taking your time, for reading and for all the reviews I have received.

See you next Chapter, bye!

Your Nico


	11. A new home

**Chapter X: A new home**

"Oh sweety, I will really miss you."

Soubi blinked at the attention his sacrifice was receiving. The boy was currently surrounded with arms cuddling him and hands ruffling his hair. The women seemed to have no intention to release their victim soon. When Soubi noticed Ritsuka's helpless glance he had enough.

"Excuse me, but we have to go now."

He swallowed when he received nothing but angry glances. Women…

Finally one of the nurses took pity of the poor boy. She sighed dramatically.

"But you will come and visit us, right?"

One last hug, then a motherly push towards Soubi who immediately grabbed the small hand once it was in his reach to pull him at his safe side, out of reach of deadly arms. He couldn't blame them for fussing all over the boy. Who wouldn't love to cuddle and hug such a cute child? But it was his duty to take care of Ritsuka's well-being. And the boy seemed to be very uncomfortable with all the attention he was receiving.

Yeah. That was it.

Soubi turned his attention back to the group of nurses.

"Thank you for everything. You have taken good care of Ritsuka."  
The women returned the kind smile.

"It was our pleasure."

The young artist nodded once more before turning to lead the younger one towards the entrance. Together they left the building and approached the street. Soubi smiled.

"Look, Ritsuka. I've bought a car. Do you like it?"

They had stopped in front of a dark Mercedes. Even though the boy didn't show any reaction, Soubi knew he was surprised. He grinned and leaned down to meet his sacrifice's glance.

"So I was right."

Slowly, Ritsuka turned his head. He gave no sign that he was listening. Still, Soubi continued with that quiet and calm voice of his.

"I've bought it because it's colour matchs your eyes."

He saw something, deep inside those empty eyes stir and die. Or was it just his imagination? Normally, the boy would blush and yell at him, ordering him to stop saying such embarrasing things.

Not gonna happen.

Not this time, or any time soon, that is.

As usual, his expression hid the disappointment he felt. Instead, he reached out to open the door for the child, motioning him to climb in before closing the door behind him. Sobi took the opportunity to give a soft sigh, then turned to throw the boy's bag inside and climbed in, too.

_Ritsuka's glance fell out of the window almost immediately, even though his eyes didn't see anything. _

_So it was true._

_He could leave this horror-house and all those women who were always fuzzing over him. _

_That was good._

_But that also meant, he had to stay with Soubi… who was always lieing at him... _

_That was bad._

_Ritsuka didn't trust him. How could he? The fighter was just another adult who would promise to take good care of him before walking away and leaving him behind. _

_No. _

_Ritsuka couldn't let this happen. He wouldn't get abonded again. No one would hurt him ever again. _

_No one cared for him? Okay, so he just would have to take matters in his own hands. _

Next to him, Soubi was completely unaware of his sacrifice's thoughts. In utterly silence he drove his new car towards Ritsuka's new home.

Finally their trip came to a halt when Soubi stopped the car in front of a house. He got out and opened the door for his little passenger. Once the boy stood next to him he took hold of his hand and smiled.

"You don't know this place, right? I had to buy a new house. My old apartment would have been much to small."

He laughed.

"It wasn't that expensive anyway and I think you'll like it."

His blue eyes shifted down to find the smaller one glance sceptically at the building. To give the teen a feeling of safety, he squeezed his hand gently.

"Let's go inside, Ritsuka."

The boy glanced down again but eventually took a slow step forward. While they walked towards the entrance door Soubi smirked.

"Don't be surprised. Natsuo was determined to make you a "welcome dinner", so he named it. So I can't give a guarantee that the kitchen is still as clean as I've left it."

He opened the door to let them inside. Once in the hall he dropped Ritsuka's bag and waited.

_Slowly, carefully Ritsuka glaced up. He was just too curious to pretend he didn't care. Soubi had bought a new house? And a new car? Where did he get so much money? He surely hid something again…_

_Still, Ritsuka looked around. _

_A nice place. _

_A soft carpet was lying on the floor, portraits were decorating the walls, stairs lead a floor higher. Everything looked warm and welcoming._

_Ritsuka was surprised._

Soubi smiled.

Suddenly one of the doors was opened to reveal a wide grinning Natsuo.

"See? I told you they're here!"

He ran over and immediately clung to Ritsuka.

"Welcome home."

Youji still stood in the door, a wide grin in his face.

"We've made you dinner! Come see!"

With no other choice left Ritsuka let himself be dragged into the kitchen where the plates were already set. Soubi, who had followed the teens, stopped in amazement. Despite his worst premonition the kitchen was quiet clean. No smoke, no remains of food, the dirty dishes were nowhere in sight… He frowned. That was unexpected. He turned to throw them a suspicious glamce. He just knew them too well… both couldn't be trusted. Especially with such an innocent gleam in both their eyes…

"Be careful, Ritsuka."

His sacrfice had just reached out for the rice, but stopped now. Natsuo seemed to be very offended, for he pressed his hands in his hip and glared as hard as possible at the other fighter.

"Hey! It's not like we put poison in it or something!"

Youji shook his head and grabbed the other's arm to drag him out of the room. Soubi couldn't help but grin. Those two…With his usual smile he sat down next to the boy.

"I wasn't serious, Ritsuka. Just go ahead and enjoy their food."

_Ritsuka hesitated but finally reached again for the plates. He didn't want to but his body forced him. Also, Natsuo had told him this was his "welcome dinner". So all of this was just for him. For no one else, just for Ritsuka. It tasted wonderful. _

The artist watched with relief. He had been told that the teen refused to eat most of the time. It felt good. Very good.

After Ritsuka had finished, Soubi once again took hold of his hand.

"Now… was it good?"

No answer. Of course. Still, he smiled.

"Come with me. I want to show you everything."

_Ritsuka didn't look up but allowed Soubi to lead him through the rooms. He didn't listen to his fighter. That was useless, right? It meant nothing to him. Finally they walked up the stairs. Soubi opened one of the doors and lead him inside._

"This is your room, Ritsuka. I'll sleep next door and Youji and Natsuo over there."

_Slowly, Ritsuka looked up. This was his room? Well… it definitive seemed so. He recognized his things standing in the room. His computer, his bed, even his cupboard… everything was there. Ritsuka's eyes widened. _

Soubi bent down to look in the boy's dark eyes.

"I didn't know how you liked you room. So I've decorated it just like your old room…"

Instantly Soubi regreted these words. Ritsuka's eyes lost their expression. He broke free from Soubis's grip and dashed into one corner, slipping down onto the ground. The blonde artist cursed himself for being so tactless. Watching Ritsuka once again in this state, vulnerable and helpless, tore at his heart. Slowly, carefully, he walked towards the teen to kneel beside him. His hand found it's way into the dark locks of soft hair.

"We can always rearrange everything, Ritsuka. Just like you want it. Okay?"

Silence. Soubi sighed.

"We'll do it tomorrow. Right after breakfast. It's my free day, so I have all the time in the world. Just for you. Good night, Ritsuka."

One gentle kiss on the boy's forehead, then Soubi raised up and turned to leave the room. Softly the door closed behind him and he let out a quiet sigh.

This would be hard.

Three teens, two of them being completely carefree and without any respect for other beings while the other one was traumatic and completely closed up.

And he was responsible for all of them. Well… at least for Ritsuka. He had to work hard, so that no one would have a reason to take the boy away from him. Also, he had to be more careful with the thhings he said. Just like Shouko-sensei had said… Ritsuka was very sensible to words, even more now than he had been before. Even though Soubi wanted nothing more than for his boy to return to his normal self, he knew he had to take things slow. He had to be patient, patient and careful. Maybe he should have a little chit-chat with ZERO… He couldn't trust them with Ritsuka's sanity. They were just too tactless… more than Soubi himself… The blonde artist sighed once again before turning to one of the other doors.

End of Chap. X

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Hello everyone!

I'm late, aren't I? Sorry for that. I was quiet busy these days. I hope this chapter makes up for that. Was it good? Was it bad? Too be honest, I don't like it that much. The Zero-boys are very hard to write. And I had to cut it once again...Hehe... I guess I have to work on that.Oh, and thanks, Tattered Quill, for your tip with the beta reader. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone in England. And my friends all live here.Too bad... anyone up to it?I don't know...

Anyway, thanks everyone, for taking your time and for all the reviews I have received. They are all welcome and treasured. ;-) I love you all. See you next chapter and have a nice day!

Bye, your Nico


	12. Problems

**Chapter XI: Problems**

Quietly the door closed behind Soubi. The tall fighter sighed. His talk with ZERO had gone well… almost too well. The two teens had been understanding. That was enough reason to be suspicious. He had to be very careful with those two. Okay, they had both promised to be careful, to be "good boys"… but Soubi knew better than believing them. If necessary, he could still throw them out… His eyes fell on the still closed door. Ritsuka's safety was of absolute priority. No matter to what costs, he would protect his boy. With yet another sigh he walked downstairs.

_Ritsuka's eye's were still tightly shut. He didn't want to see this room. _

Just like your old room…

_Yeah… everything was placed where it belonged. It was as if he had never left his home._

_His living nightmare…_

_He couldn't stay here. Everything reminded him of his home, his brother, his mother… Ritsuka didn't like it. And Soubi would stay right next to him… what if he got a nightmare? What if he would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and tossing? Soubi would hear him and come to comfort him, no doubt… He would ask questions… Ritsuka didn't like that either. He hated it when adults asked him questions. They were curious and wanted to know everything about him. But Ritsuka wouldn't tell them. Not about nightmares, not about his fears… and definetely not about this night that had destroyed his life. That were his secrets and his alone. But what if he would talk in his sleep and Soubi heard him? No. Ritsuka couldn't let this happen. He had to prevent this with all costs. He wouldn't fall into any trap the adults made for him. Never again. _

_It was finally time to act._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_It was deep in night. Slowly the door opened. Ritsuka had waited for hours before he felt it safe to leave his room. Carefully he peered around. Everything was dark, no sound was heard. The house was asleep._

_Good._

_Softly, he closed the door behind him. His bag was clutched in a tight grip. He was careful to not make any sound. No one must hear him. They would stop him, no doubt. He waited a few moments to let his eyes get adjust to the darkness. Then he slowly walked forward, feeling his way over the corridor and down the stairs. _

_One of the steps cracked and he stopped in an instant. _

_His cat ears twitched but everything was still silent. No one had heard him. So he continued searching his way through the darkness. Finally he reached the end of the stairs. He hesitated but then turned to walk towards the kitchen. After all, he would need food for his jorney. _

_He had already crossed half of the room when something caught his attention. He stopped dead in his tracks. Soubi had fallen asleep on the couch, papers spread out on the small desk before him. _

_Shit…_

_Ritsuka hesitated. An obstacle on his way… The adult may be asleep but he could wake up and when he noticed Ritsuka… He bit his lip. What should he do? Should he try to sneak past the couch and risk waking Soubi? He would need food on his way…_

_After a few seconds of debating whether to progress or give up, he gave a soft sigh and turned to walk back. He couldn't risk waking the fighter up. He would hold him up and prevent him from freedom and peace. He had eaten dinner, he would survive a day without food. _

_He had nearly reached the front door when…_

"Ritsuka."

_He flinched when he heard a deep calm voice behind him. Slowly he turned around. The light was switched on to reveal a sleepy looking Soubi. Ritsuka swallowed._

_Shit._

Soubi had woken up when he had heard one of the steps crack. He was a light sleeper, thanks to his training. No matter where he was, he was always aware of his surroundings. But expecting it to be Youji and Natsuo sneaking out off the house he had stayed where he was with his eyes closed. Instead it had been Ritsuka's shadow over him. Now he was curious. Why was his little boy still up? It was way too late…

Soubi rubbed his tired eyes to clear his view. In the light he could make Ritsuka out. The teen was standing at the front door, his features showing surprise and, strange enough, _fear_. Soubi frowned and walked towards him.

"Ritsuka. Why are still up? Can't you sleep?"

His frown deepened when he noticed Ritsuka stepping back. He was holding his bag in a tight grip. Soubi understood.

"You want to go? Why, Ritsuka?"

His sacrifice didn't answer but took another step until his back touched the door. He held his bag in such a tight grip that his knuckles turned white. Just as if he hid behind it…

Soubi sighed and bent down to look into the big dark orbs.

"Is it because of your room? Did Natsuo and Youji something? Or… is it because of me?"

Ritsuka averted his glance towards the ground. The artist smiled sadly.

"I see."

He hesitated before turning to a more serious tone.

"Is it really so bad, Ritsuka? To stay with me? Is it so bad that you have to run away?"

He sighed. What could he say to make the boy stay?

"Ritsuka. I know this is a very hard time for you and I understand that you don't trust me. If you really want to go, then I won't hold you up. I have no right to. It's your decision to make… yours alone. But I ask you to think about your decision. You're still a child, Ritsuka. You can't live on your own. How do you want to survive? You don't have any money. But you have to eat and buy new clothes and where do you want to stay? You need money, Ritsuka. And it's dangerous for such a young boy to be alone in this world. Who will protect you? I know you don't like it but that's the way it is. That's why adults have to take care of the children. To keep them safe…"

His voice became more quiet.

"And… and once they find out you're away, they will search for you. They will take you away to a new family and then you will have to stay with strangers again."

Suddenly the boy's head shot up. Silent tears were streaming down his face. This sight tore at Soubi's heart. The sudden urge to pull him into his arms overwhelmed him yet he knew he had to continue. It was important to be honest.

"I don't want them to take you away from me because I hate the thought of being apart. Someone has to take care of you, Ritsuka, and I would be very happy to be that someone because I lo… because, you're very important to me. I know that you don't trust me but I've promised you to protect you. I've never lied about that, right?"

He forced himself to smile.

"Maybe you can give me a new chance. If you still want to leave then… I won't hold you up. It's your decision… yeah… I'm fine with each decision you make. Goodnight, Ritsuka."

With that Soubi stood up and turned around. While he walked up towards his room his smile turned into a sad frown. Now he could just hope that the teen would make the right decision.

_Ritsuka was still silently crying._

_Damn._

_That was not supposed to happen. Now Soubi knew of his plan… But the adult hadn't tried to make him stay, hadn't shouted, was not angry with him for running away. Instead, he had spoken with him and had explained what he thought. But now Ritsuka was confused. What should he do? Should he still continue with his plan? What Soubi had told him… Ritsuka didn't like to admit it but… he knew Soubi was right. He hadn't thought about this part of his plan. He would need money and he was too young to work. _

_Damn._

_And he didn't want to stay with strangers either…_

I have promised to protect you…

_Yeah… Soubi had never broken this promise. He had always protected Ritsuka, even if it meant to risk his own life. He had also bought a new car and a new house- Ritsuka still didn't know where he had received all the money- could it be that the adult really wanted for him to stay? Had Soubi told him the truth? Ritsuka sniffled and looked down onto his bag. He wanted to go, to live on his own without any adult near him. Yet, he also wanted to stay, to have a place where he could live, maybe even someone who would always take care of him. _

_Damn._

_What should he do now?_

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Soubi was lying on his bed with his arms folded under his head. He was staring at the ceiling. Where was Ritsuka now? Was he still downstairs? Or had he already left the house? Soubi knew he had to prevent the teen from running away. The world outside was way to dangerous for children, especially at such a late time. But he also knew that he had to win back Ritsuka's trust and therefore he had to let him make this decision on his own. He couldn't force him to stay… if Ritsuka didn't want to then he would have to accept this decision. He sighed but quickly sat up when he heard the door next to his close softly.

Ritsuka had decided to stay…

Soubi smiled relieved.

When he opened the door later that night to check on his boy, he found him lying in his bed, sleeping peacefully.

End of Chap. XI

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Hello everyone!

Another chapter done! I was looking forward to write this chapter. This was a turning point. Ritsuka will stay with Soubi and maybe even be able to trust him again. Whoa... I've never written such a long story before. And I've still so many ideas... guess this story will be going on for a little while longer. But is it just me or are the chapters getting more and more boring? I promise, there will be more interesting stuff. After all, there are still a few secrets to be solved. Thanks, everyone, for taking your time and reading this chapter. Hope you liked it. ;-)

See you all next chapter. Bye!

Your Nico


	13. Mending relationship

**Chapter XII: Mending relationship**

Soubi whistled quietly while he cooked lunch. Ritsuka was still asleep. He hadn't bothered to wake the teen up. After all, it had been a long night for both of them. So he had decided to let him sleep. It was Saturday, his free day, and ZERO had already left, "to play", so they had said. Soubi hadn't asked what they meant with that, it was not his business. But Ritsuka was… only Ritsuka. Soubi had to smile. He could spend the whole day with his sacrifice. All these days when he had been unable to see his boy, when he didn't know where he was, how he was… they were gone. Ritsuka had decided to stay… to give him a new chance.

Soubi knew he had to be very careful. After all, the teen was very sensitive. One mistake and Soubi would lose him forever. At first he had been very unsure about that but now he had plenty of time. He would use this time to prove that Ritsuka could still trust him. They would become a team again, with no doubts and no secrets. It wouldn't be easy, Soubi knew that. He would have to take things slow, taking step by step, and he had to be honest.

Placing the last dish on the desk he glanced at his clock. He frowned and decided to wake the boy up. So he turned… only to find him already awake. Ritsuka was leaning against the door-frame, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He was still wearing his pyjamas. Soubi had to smile. So cute…

"Good morning, Ritsuka, or rather good noon. You have slept pretty long."  
Ritsuka blinked and yawned. The artist hesitated before he decided to start being honest. Slowly he walked to the boy and, by bending down, placed one hand on his shoulder to look into small tired eyes.

"I'm glad that you have decided to stay. I really am, Ritsuka. You won't regret it. I promise."

Rather than reacting to his words, Ritsuka simply ignored the adult and walked past him to sit down at the desk.

Soubi sighed. Maybe he had expected too much… Covering his feelings with his usual smile, he followed Ritsuka and sat down facing him.

"Let's start, Ritsuka. After all, it will be a long day."

The teen let his head drop till his face was hidden behind dark strands. Even though Soubi was now unable to see his expressions, he still could tell that the boy was unhappy. The way his cat-ears dropped until they were flat against his skull gave everything away. A part of Soubi was glad. Ritsuka was still unable to control his body language and since the fighter had always been able to read and understand this language, he would always know how the younger one was feeling.

"Let's eat, Ritsuka, so that we can start with your room."

Ritsuka hesitated but then reached for the bowls. Soubi waited till he was sure his sacrifice was eating properly, before starting to eat himself. Silence hung in the room, only the ticks of the clock audible. Every now and then, the blonde artist would look up to watch the younger one eat. Ritsuka still didn't eat much but it would be enough. Soubi just had to find out what his boy liked.

When they both had finished Soubi looked up only to see Ritsuka look around, frowning in confusion. He smiled.

"Natsuo and Youji are not there. I'm not sure when they will come back. So it's just you and me."

_Ritsuka's head shot back to Soubi, his face heating up. He would have to spent the day alone with Soubi? _

_Damn._

_That was not good. He didn't trust the adult and with Youji and Natsuo around… he didn't trust them, either. Yet he would rather spent his time with them. They had never lied at him. They even had tried to explain the whole fighter-sacrifice-thing to him. Soubi on the other hand… and now he was alone with him, with an evil adult. He had to be careful. _

_Very careful._

Soubi frowned. Ritsuka seemed to be angry… and afraid? That was not good. Ritsuka had never been afraid of him before. He sighed but hid his feelings behind a thin smile.

"Now we have time to get your room ready. You can go up while I clean up the kitchen. When I'm ready I come up and then we'll rearrange your room."

_Ritsuka was confused. His room? Oh right. That's what Soubi had told him yesterday. It was a good idea. That way he would be able to start new, without any thoughts about his past and his old home. Yes, Ritsuka liked that idea. So he nodded and stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs._

Soubi was surprised. He knew Ritsuka was very emotional but changing from sad to angry to enthusiastic? Had he himsef been like that when he was that age? Teenager…

While he worked in the kitchen he thought about a way to win back Ritsuka's trust. He had to make his life comfortable so that one day he would get his old boy back and maybe solve the secret of what had happened that damn night.

Once he had finished he walked up to the teen's room and knocked softly.

"Ritsuka? I'm ready."  
He opened the door and was once again surprised with a sight he had never seen before.

Ritsuka was lying on the floor, stomach down, with a paper in front of him, a pencil clutched in one hand, the other was supporting his head. His legs were bent and his feet moved up and down, his brows knitted in utter concentration. Soubi blinked and approached him.

"Uhm… Ritsuka?"

The dark haired boy finished scribbling on his paper, sat up and handed his fighter the result. Soubi took the offered paper with a mild smile but was rather confused when he saw nothing but a few lines and crooked circles. Slowly his glance went back to Ritsuka who was still kneeling on the floor. He remembered a conversation when he had first admitted that he studied art. Ritsuka had told him that he was unable to draw but that his talent was that bad… maybe Soubi should teach him?

His sacrifice noticed his confusion and blushed. He had always been quiet touchy on this subject. So he quickly grabbed his "masterpiece" and started scribbling again, before handing it back to Soubi. Said one finally understood. Words were added to the indefinable lines and circles to describe what they meant. Soubi smiled. On the paper Ritsuka had described the way he liked his new room. The bed, the desk, the cupboard, everything was there. He bent down to ruffle the teen's hair.

"What a smart boy you are, Ritsuka. Now we can start."

_Despite his best attempts Ritsuka felt his lips curve into a small smile. If he had to stay in this house with a lying adult, at least he would have a room for his own. This room would even look the way he wanted it and not like someone else. Although he didn't like it… he was happy. _

Once again Soubi starred down onto the "ground plan".

"Okay. Maybe we should start with your cupboard."

He frowned when his eyes fell on the heavy piece of furniture. It had been hard enough to move it when he had first arranged the room. Now he would have to move it again… but with Ritsuka watching him with this cute expression on his face, expecting him to start already, there was no way to run away. He had to keep his promise, even if that meant he had to move this damn heavy cupboard once again. So he sighed before rolling up his sleeves.

-----------------------------------------------

With a heavy sigh Soubi let himself fall onto the couch. They had worked for hours but now the room was perfect. He had refused to let Ritsuka do hard work so he had to do everything for himself. Now he was exhausted but also satisfied. Rearranging Ritsuka's room had been an important step to restore their relationship. Soubi knew he had to make life as comfortable as possible for his sacrifice so that he could stay with him.

He looked up when he heard said one walk into the living room. Ritsuka sat down at the other end of the couch, as far away from Soubi as he could. Soubi frowned but didn't do anything against it. Instead he decided to ignore it.

"Well, Ritsuka. Do you like your room now?"

The teen didn't look up but nodded softly.

"That's good. We still have some time. What do you want to do now?"

_Ritsuka looked around. Soubi was right, they still had time. He had to think of something before the adult could get any funny ideas. Finally his mind settled on one thing. _

Soubi watched the younger one stand up and walk over to the game console. Ritsuka sat down, switched the tool on and turned to hand Soubi the second Player. The artist frowned. He knew that Ritsuka liked playing video games but he had never been interested in such games.

"I don't think I'm very good with that, Rit…"

He stopped when he noticed the narrowed glance he received.

_Ritsuka was angry. After all, it had been a really long time since he had last played it. He hated playing alone and since Soubi was the only one around, he had to play with him. Ritsuka wanted to play that game._

_Now._

Soubi smiled.

"Okay, okay. I'll play with you."

Slowly he stood up. His body protested after all the hard work but somehow he managed to walk and sit down next to the boy. Ritsuka smiled satisfied and started the game. Soubi starred in confusion and gave his best to understand the rules.

"I see. So we have to fight against each other, right?"

Ritsuka nodded and moved his game figure towards Soubi's. The adult was beaten in an instant. Soubi blinked.

"… I've lost? How can that be? I've never lost before."

_Ritsuka couldn't help but laugh quietly. He had beaten the strong fighter. Soubi had won all fights before but he had no chance against a teen. Ritsuka was better, at least in this game. He was happy._

Soubi's head turned once he noticed the sudden noise. He was surprised. Ritsuka was laughing… because he had won? No… because he had beaten Soubi. Strong undefeated Soubi. He smiled.

"That's funny, huh? Just wait until I have found out how this goes."

Together they played round for round. Soubi never won.

Finally, hours later, the sound of the phone ringing cut right into the almost comfortable silence. Soubi raised to get it.

"I'll be right back, Ritsuka."  
The boy gave no sign that he had heard him, he simply changed the second player to auto-pilot. Soubi sighed. Back to this… He shook his head and hurried to reach the phone that was placed in the entrance hall.

End of chap. XII

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Hello everyone!

Do you know that? You have holidays but can't enjoy it 'cause you're down with the flu? Jeez. That's not funny. Next week school starts again... Anyway, that's not important. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I tried to show that Ritsuka is still able to trust, even if it's just for a little time. Did it work? Or was it too rushed? You decide. I hope you liked this chap.

Thanks for taking your time and please review. Hugs to you all!

See you next chapter and bye!  
Your Nico


	14. Therapy

**Chapter XIII: Therapy**

The car stopped in front of the large building. Soubi got out and led his young sacrifice to the door. When he had told Ritsuka that he had an appointment with Shouko-sensei, the boy had reacted in no way. Even his eyes had been completely emotionless.

Back to stage one.

Soubi didn't know what had changed the younger one's opinion _again_. First, he had been afraid of staying alone with Soubi, then he had been eager and happy to rearrange his room… he had even played his favourite game with him… and now he was back ignoring everyone and everything around him. Soubi was frustrated that he didn't understand what was going on. What had he done wrong?

_Ritsuka didn't react when he felt his fighter's arm sneak around his thin shoulder. _

_Damn. _

_He had let his guard down. He had forgotten that it was dangerous to trust an adult- especially Soubi. When they had played, fought against each other, he had been at ease. He even had enjoyed this time. It had remembered him at the good old times when his older brother had played with him that game. Seimei had always won, well, except for times when Ritsuka's character had thrown his brother's into the pool. Seimei had cheated, of course. Ritsuka knew he had only won because Seimei had let him. He wanted to make his younger brother happy because he had always complained about loosing. Ritsuka had never really won. _

_Except against Soubi…_

_The tall fighter was worse than Ritsuka in playing video games. His frustration had been very funny. But that was no excuse for letting his guard down… _

_He had to be very careful from now on. And what was that with this appointment? He didn't want to see Shouko-sensei. He knew that woman. She would want to talk with him, make him speak, make him tell her about that fateful night. But Ritsuka was determined. He wouldn't talk. _

_Never again._

Soubi led him inside and signed them in. They were told to sit down into the waiting room. Silence hung between them. Finally Soubi's glance went to the teen whose eyes were glued to the floor. He sighed.

"Ritsuka. I don't know what I have done wong and I guess you won't tell me. But I want you to know that whatever it was… I'm sorry."  
No reaction. Ritsuka gave nothing away that he had heard the man. Soubi sighed and decided to change the subject.

"You understand that Shouko-sensei wants to see you, right? She wants to help you." Maybe you can talk to her… he added for himself. He longed to hear the boy's voice again. Even when Ritsuka scolded him… it had been much better than this silence. Another sigh and they both were silent again.

Finally a nurse came in.

"I'm sorry you had to wait. The doctor is ready to see you."

Her eyes fell on Soubi.

"She wants to talk with you first."

The artist was surprised. Why would Shouko-sensei want to talk with him? Could she know… His insecure eyes fell on Ritsuka. He didn't want to leave him alone…

"Don't worry. I'll take care of him."

Soubi sighed but nodded. With a smile he stroked the boy's dark hair.

"I'll be right back, Ritsuka."

He stepped out of the room but turned once again to see the nurse taking a comic book from a desk to hand it Ritsuka. A soft smile crept over his face. Yes, Ritsuka would be okay. Slowly he made his way towards the bureau. He wasn't sure why the doctor wanted to talk with _him_… after all, this was an appointment for Ritsuka. What if something went wrong? Maybe his living standards were not enough to keep Ritsuka… He found himself quite nervous when he knocked against the door before opening it.

Shouko-sensei smiled when the tall man stepped in.

"Good morning."

Soubi nodded and sat down in front of her. She smiled when she noticed his expression.

"Don't worry. I just wanted to ask you how it was. Does Ritsuka like his new home?"

Soubi relaxed. That was all she wanted to ask him? Well… the answer was easy. But he found himself hesitating. Should he really tell her about Ritsuka's escape plan? What would she do once she found out the boy didn't want to stay with Soubi? She would take him away, right? Soubi couldn't let that happen. Ritsuka was everything the fighter had… He smiled.

"Yes. We have decorated his room yesterday. He even played his favourite video game with me."

"So… he is content with staying?"

Again Soubi hesitated. He didn't know why it was so difficult to keep his mask on. He hesitated way too often. Maybe because Shouko-sensei had the power to take Ritsuka away from him? He was not related with the teen. When they decided Ritsuka couldn't stay with Soubi, he had no right to meet the boy any longer. There was no way he would ever see him again. No. He had to keep his mask on to hide his worry.

"I think so."

"That's good. I'm very glad, you know? It's very important for Ritsuka to have a stable home. After all that he has been through…"

Soubi's blue eyes trembled. A stable home… would he ever be able to give Ritsuka a home? He was a fighter, after all. There would be fights, no doubt. More teams would come after them, after Ritsuka. He had always been an easy target, small, innocent, naïve, calm like he was… and now he had lost his absolute strength- his voice. How should he defend himself now that he had nothing left? Soubi's heart stopped for a second. Ritsuka couldn't even call him… Maybe it was really better for Ritsuka to leave…

Soubi was brought back to reality when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up only to see a concerned Shouko-sensei in front of him.

"Are you alright?"

Soubi nodded absentminded. The young woman crossed her arms. Her face shew scepticism.

"I get the feeling you're hiding something. Am I right?"

The blonde artist went stiff.

Damn.

This psychiatrist had a good reason for her job… Still, he didn't answer her question. What could he say anyway? She would never believe him.

Shouko-sensei sighed when she received no answer and walked back to her chair. She hesitated before turning her eyes once again on the man in front of her.

"Once Ritsuka has asked me why people lie. He was referring to you, right?"

Soubi flinched but knew it was better to be honest with this woman. She just wanted to help Ritsuka, just like Soubi himself.

"Yes. I've lied to him."  
"What about?"

Again Soubi hesitated for a few moments but finally gave in. He didn't have to tell everything, just a part of truth.

"He asked me about my past but I couldn't answer him."

"Why not?"

Soubi's smile was bitter when he remembered long forgotten training lessons.

"Some things are not suitable for children."

Shouko-sensei smiled.  
"Don't worry. I'm not interested in your past. I just want to understand why Ritsuka would ask such a question. It's very unusual for a young teen."

Soubi smiled when he remembered the conversations he had with his sacrifice. The boy never stopped amazing him. Shouko-sensei considered the new information.

"So you couldn't answer him and he felt like you were lieing to him. I see…"

She smiled at the fighter.

"Thank you for your help. It's important for Ritsuka that we two work together. I want to speak with him now."  
Soubi was relieved. Even though he hadn't told everything and kept his past a well hidden secret, Ritsuka could still live with him. He nodded and stood up to leave the bureau.

_--------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Ritsuka was bored. He had finished reading the comic and the nurse had left the room to go back to her work. His eyes fell on the door. It would be very easy to just walk out of here to start a new life without lying adults, with just himself. But Soubi's words penetrated his mind. _

You'll need money…

Adults have to protect children…

It's an evil world.

_Yeah, true. The world was evil. Life was dangerous, especially for children. Ritsuka was determined. Somehow he would find a way to fulfill his dream. _

_He didn't notice Soubi stepping to him nor heard him talking. He didn't object when he felt the man take his hand to lead him towards the bureau. Soubi opened the door and pushed him gently inside. When Ritsuka finally looked up again he was looking straight into Shouko-sensei's smiling face. _

"Hello, Ritsuka. It's nice to see you again. Come, sit down with me."

_Again his hand was taken and he was lead towards the couch where they both sat down. The young woman smiled. _

"It's been a long time. I'm glad to hear that you like your new home."

_Soubi… not his fault… he was an adult… he just had to lie. Ritsuka didn't like staying with Soubi. He wanted to be free, to be independent. But this wish would never be granted. He would have to find a way to live. Starting with this therapy..._

End of Chap. XIII

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Hello everyone!

He he... I'm late, aren't I? I'm sorry for the delay. School takes most of my free time now, it's my last year. Plus, I'm working on a one-shot which I can hopefully soon finish. So please forgive me for taking such a long time. Actually I was thinking about making this chapter longer to make up for letting you wait. But since I don't have much time lately I wanted to upload this as soon as possible. This weekend I will have more time again. The next chapter won't take so long. Promise. So thanks for taking your time and please forgive me for the delay.

Bye, your Nico


	15. Confessions

**Chapter XIV: Confessions**

"So tell me… how is your life with Ritsuka?"

Soubi's blue eyes drifted from the streaming circles his coffee made to Kio's smiling face. He didn't bother to answer. Kio pouted.

"Oh, come on. Tell me… he's been staying with you for two weeks now. Has he changed? Is he talking again?"

Soubi's eyes wandered back to his coffee.

"I don't want to talk about it."

Kio blinked in surprise.

"What? You… you don't want to talk about Ritsuka? That's new. Are you alright? Did something happen? Please tell me, Sou-chan. I'm worried."

Yet his friend stayed silent. Kio's eyes watered and he clapped his hands in a pleading gesture.

"Sou-chan! You never tell me anything! Come on… I'm your friend, right? Still, you don't trust me! You don't trust anyone! I won't tell. Promise!"

Soubi let him rant, he didn't even hear Kio's voice. Lately he had paid much less attention towards his surroundings. He had other problems.

Ritsuka had dreamt again. Last night, when Soubi had looked after his sacrifice, he had found him crying in his sleep. The fighter had tried to soothe the child's pain but was unable to. Ritsuka's nightmare had lasted for hours. Only when the sun had broken through the darkness outside, Soubi had been finally able to leave the room. That was not his first sleepless night. It was hard but he had to admit… he couldn't help his boy. He had tried everything but to no avail. He didn't even know what the nightmare was about. Maybe his mother, maybe his brother, maybe both… Ritsuka surely couldn't tell him. So how was he supposed to do something against the dreams? For the first time in his life he had absolutely no clue what he could do. His sacrifice couldn't guide him, couldn't order him. But Soubi was a fighter, he _needed _commands. What could he do, now that he was without a master?

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Youji crossed his arms and leaned against his fighter. They were both watching Ritsuka who was sitting in a corner, looking out of the window into the dark night. Youji sighed.

"This is boring. Why can't we go out?"

Natsuo didn't move.

"Because we have to stay here to look after Ritsuka."

The other teen pouted.

"That's stupid. He's just sitting and does nothing. He hasn't moved for hours!"

The young fighter sighed.

"I know. I really want to know what happened with him…"

They both turned at the sound of the front-door being opened. Youji grinned when Soubi and Kio walked in.

"Great! Now we can go playing!"

Soubi didn't notice their leave, he was still deep in thoughts. He gestured towards the living room.

"Just sit down. I'll get the beer."

Kio nodded and plopped down onto the couch while his friend disappeared in the kitchen. The young art student looked around. He had never been here before. They hadn't met in a long time. Soubi was always so busy with Ritsuka, he just had no time for Kio any more. No wonder, after all the raven-haired boy had been through… but something was worrying Kio.

Soubi was changing. Again, he was more a zombie than a human. He was absentminded, almost lifeless. He was functioning but not living. Again, that was the fault of an Aoyagi. Those guys really were devils, always making Soubi suffer…

A dark mane caught his attention. Ritsuka… the boy was sitting in a corner starring at something outside through the window. He wasn't moving. Kio frowned. He stood up, walked over to the teen and sat down next to him. He watched Ritsuka for some reaction but received none. The younger one didn't even notice his arrival. Kio's sea-blue eyes followed Ritsuka's purple ones.

"What's there to see?"

He got no answer, so he simply continued looking out the window, hoping to find a clue of what had cought the young teen's attention.

Soubi stopped at the sight when he walked back into the living room. Kio and Ritsuka were both sitting on the floor, starring at absolutely nothing. None of them moved.

_Ritsuka was enjoying watching the darkness form outside when he heard his fighter return. He hadn't bothered to take notice of him. And now Soubi's friend –Kio?- was sitting next to him. Ritsuka didn't mind… as long as this adult didn't annoy him…_

Soubi watched the two for a while before his eyes fell on the clock. He sighed and set the bottles on the table.

"Ritsuka, it's already late."

Both Kio and Ritsuka startled at the sudden sound of his voice and turned to meet his surprised glance. Another sigh. He hadn't received any reaction for days and then Kio came and… whoums… just great. With the hint of a smile he walked over and held his hand out.

"Time for bed."

Ritsuka hesitated but then slowly took hold of Soubi's hand. The fighter looked at Kio who was still sitting on the ground.

"I'll be right back."

Kio nodded and watched them leaving the room. Slowly he turned his head. He still couldn't find anything that could have caught the young boy's attention. There was just darkness. No trees, no flowers, no animals… just the dark night. Confused he scratched his head.

Shrugging he stood up and walked over to the couch. He sat down and grabbed a bottle. He closed his eyes when he heard Soubi coming back. Silence hung in the room, only the ticking of a clock was heard. Finally Kio's sigh broke through the stilness.

"You look like shit. Haven't you slept last night?"

His friend took another sip of his beer.

"Ritsuka had a nightmare. I couldn't calm him down."

Kio blinked in surprise. So now Soubi wanted to talk about it? He opened his eyes to meet a sight he hadn't seen in a long time. Soubi's head hung low, his eyes were closed. He looked depressed, utterly broken, with a heavy burden on his shoulders. He sighed.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? Maybe I can help you."

Soubi sighed.

"Thanks, Kio, but you really can't help me. Ritsuka is in a… difficult state…"  
Kio nodded.

"I guess you just have to be patient with him."

"I know."

Both men were falling back into silence.

-------------------------------------------

It was already late when Soubi finally walked up the stairs. His eyes fell on the door next to his. He hesitated but finally decided to risk it. Quietly the door cracked open and the tall adult peered into the room. Even in the darkness he could make out the quiet form in the bed.

The boy seemed to be haunted with nightmares again. Soubi sighed and moved closer. He frowned once his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. Ritsuka wasn't dreaming. No, he was crouched in a corner of the bed with his hands pressed firmly against his human ears. Tears were streaming down his face.

Once again, Soubi's heart broke.

Once again, Soubi was wondering what Ritsuka had seen in his dreams.

Once again he cursed himself for being unable to help his boy.

_Shut up… shut up… leave me alone… _

_Ritsuka was desperate. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't stop the voices. They were calling him, torturing him. _

_Again, he had seen his mother in his dream. _

_Again, she had been reaching out for him._

_Again, she had been screaming for him, to reunite with her and Seimei, the knife ever present in her awaiting hand. They were a family, after all, and a family had to be together. Still, he was the only Aoyagi left._

_Ritsuka was afraid and closed his eyes in a frantic attempt to block out the horrible images the nightmare had shown him._

Soubi sighed softly before slowly crossing the dark room. Gently he grabbed the small hands.

"Sh… Ritsuka. It's alright. Noone is going to hurt you. I'll help you. I promise."

_Ritsuka startled. He hadn't noticed the adult neither enter his room nor moving over to him. He heard his soothing voice but couldn't stop his tears from falling. _

_No one could help him._

Soubi watched the young teen for any changes but found none. He could even feel the small body trembling under his touch.

That did it.

He could feel his legs breaking down under him when he collapsed on the hard floor. He pulled Ritsuka nearer to him and buried his face in the soft fabric of the boy's pyjama. His arms were tightening their hold around the smaller body. His voice was shaking but he didn't care. His own desperation and worry for the boy he had come to hold so dearly in his heart crushed down over him.

"I'm sorry, Ritsuka. I'm so sorry. I've promised Seimei and myself to keep you safe, no matter what. Yet all I seem to do is fail! You even lost your voice. I can't protect you from anything! You're suffering, you don't feel safe here and I can't do anything against it. I can't help you because I don't know what happened. I don't know what else I can do. Please forgive me, Ritsuka, for being such a failure as your fighter…"

_Ritsuka's purple eyes shot open. He was utterly surprised at the sudden embrace but more so at Soubi's reaction. Never ever before had it occurred that he had seen his fighter acting like this. The tall adult was showing real emotions. Ritsuka tilted his head.. The adult seemed to be very sad and also disappointed. But why? Just because of him, Ritsuka? Was he making Soubi sad? Maybe the adult was crying in the nights, too. Maybe he was also dreaming… about Seimei? Maybe Ritsuka wasn't the only one who was afraid… So he wasn't all alone… Soubi was suffering, too. But was he really telling the truth? Ritsuka didn't know. After all, Soubi had lied to him about almost everything. He was an adult… he couldn't be trusted. But why was the blond crying then? He was crying, Ritsuka could feel his body shaking. Was it just an act to make him believe into something that wasn't true at all? Ritsuka was confused. What should, what could he believe?_

Soubi wasn't sure what he was doing. He had been trained to hide his feelings. Never before had he been this open with someone. But he had also never been this desperate. He could feel Ritsuka's soul fade away. With each passing day he lost a piece of his dear sacrifice. Soon there would be nothing left. And Soubi, the strongest fighter, was absolutely powerless. He could do nothing to prevent it. He had lost Ritsuka's trust and so was completely useless for the boy. He had failed in his role of a fighter. The result was very unpleasant. He was loosening his sacrifice.

Suddenly he felt a light touch on his head. Small fingers were gently combing his long hair. His body relaxed almost completely. Slowly he lifted his head to meet Ritsuka's. The dark orbs were still showing no sign of life but Soubi thought he could make out a soft glimmer. He wasn't sure… it was still pitch-dark in the room. He liked to believe it, though.

_Okay, now Ritsuka was really confused. Soubi was crying. He let his finger wander down from the top of the adult's head to his face, softly stroking the damp wetness away. He was almost fascinated with the sight of the sad adult kneeling in front of him. Weren't adults always emotionless? Selfish? Lieing? Yet here he was. The unhuman fighter crying, pouring his soul out… _

_Had Ritsuka really been so wrong about Soubi?_

The artist managed a small smile. He enjoyed the childish comfort he was receiving. So he had lost his reputation as an uncaring fighter. Still he couldn't find himself regretting it.

At least, Ritsuka was reacting to him again. That made his break-down worth. Slowly, gently he pulled the boy down onto his lap to cradle him close to his heart.

_Once again Ritsuka was surprised by the motion. Okay, he should have foreseen this… he was dealing with Soubi, after all… but… despite the fact he was being hold by an adult he felt himself relaxing into the warmth. Slowly he closed his eyes when he heard Soubi's comforting heartbeat. From a distance he could feel soft lips touching his human ears, forming quiet words, before he drifted off._

"I will find a way to ease your pain. No matter to what costs. You're safe, Ritsuka."

End of Chap. XIV

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Hello everyone!

Yaieh, this is the longest chapter I've written so far. A little "thank you" for 99 reviews. I'm glad you enjoy my story. It's really fun writing it. I still have lots of ideas for upcoming chapters. Guess, you will hear from me very soon again. ;-) **hugs to all of you** I hope Soubi's break-down was understandable. Being the undefeated fighter he is I picture him being quite overtaxed with a situation he can't control, can't foresee. He has hit a dead end and doesn't know how to continue. As for the scene in Ritsuka's bedroom... I've heard about such a scene happening in the manga but since I've only read Volume 1 (finally got it! ;-) ) I don't know what it is about. Maybe the information is wrong yet I still like the idea of Ritsuka comforting a crying Soubi. Plus, he is giving his fighter some strength he really needs. Finally, I want to apologize for turning Soubi accidently into a woman (Sorry for that, Soubi!) **goes to hide** Hehe... sorry. I read "blonde" a few times, so I thought it was... right... **turns red **Thanks for informing me.

Anyway, thanks for taking your time. I hope you all like this chapter. See you next chapter. Bye!

Your Nico


	16. A new way

**Chapter XV: A new way**

"He's still speechless?"  
Soubi's answer was a simple nod. Shouko-sensei frowned.

"That's not good. He's still dealing with the shock of his mother's death. I'm afraid he might break down if he doesn't talk with someone about this night."

The man sighed. He knew that the silence was destroying his sacrifice slowly and painfully.

"I know. But… what can I do to help him?"

The doctor in front of him leaned back into her seat.

"Is he going out?"

Soubi shook his head.

"He hasn't left the house since he moved in. I've tried everything but he's stubborn…"  
He smiled sadly. Shouko-sensei watched him.

"Is there really nothing you can think of? You know him better than anyone else… there must be something he really likes to do… a place where he likes to be…"

Soubi rubbed his temple in frustration. If he knew a way to help Ritsuka, the boy would no longer be speechless. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind. He didn't like it… but it was for Ritsuka…

"Maybe… maybe it will help him if he goes back to school."

Shouko-sensei smiled.

"That's a good idea. He would be with teenager… with his friends. Maybe they can help him trust again. We should try it."  
Soubi frowned. Somehow he had the feeling the doctor wanted to hear this idea. This woman…

Slowly, he nodded. Shouko-sensei closed her eyes before throwing a serious glance towards the man.

"Even if this doesn't work you shouldn't give up hope. Ritsuka suffers from a very serious form of autism which is a result of the traumatic experience of losening his mother. This state is very hard to fight… it's possible that he stays silent forever."

She watched the artist for any sign of reaction but it was hard since Soubi's long blonde hair hid most of his face. Finally, he looked up and she was relieved to see a gentle smile.

"Don't worry. I won't give up on him."

The doctor smiled.

-----------------------------------

Once again, his eyes fell on the document. So the rumors were true. Loveless had lost his voice. That meant he was useless as a sacrifice… useless for Soubi. A smile crept over his face, cold and underhanded.

Perfect.

-----------------------------------

_Ritsuka was confused. First Soubi called him down to tell him "some good news"… and now he was pacing in front of him without saying anything. _

_Dammit._

_Why did the adult keep him from doing things that were important if he had nothing to say at all? _

Finally Soubi's pacing came to a halt. He had his back turned towards the couch where his sacrifice was seated. He didn't know why but he was nervous. For some unknown reason he just couldn't get rid of the feeling that he made a mistake. But wasn't this for Ritsuka? Everything that was for his sacrifice just had to be good. So he decided to ignore this feeling. Slowly he turned around to face the young teen.

"So, Ritsuka. I've something… We've decided… you… well…"

_Ritsuka tilted his head. That was quite interesting… Soubi seemed to be unsure… he had never seen the tall adult behave like this. He couldn't finish his sentence because he didn't know what to say. He lost the words. Ritsuka blinked surprised when he noticed the shaking hands of his fighter. Was it really so hard?_

Finally Soubi breathed deep in. He had to finish this, even though he didn't like it. For his boy…

"Ritsuka. There's something I have to tell you. You're living here for weeks now and still you refuse to leave the house. I know this is hard for you but I'm afraid you can't continue like this. It's just not good for you to stay in your room. So there's only one way…"

_Okay, now Ritsuka was alarmed. Where would this conversation lead? Would Soubi throw him out? Had he once again lied? What should…_

"I think it's time for you to go back to school. I've talked with Shinonome-sensei. She says you can come back tomorrow."

_Ritsuka blinked in surprise. What? He… he could go back to school? That was great! He could meet his friends again… even though they were annoying, he had missed them. Yuiko __and Yayoi… they were the only one who had never lied to him. He knew he could trust them. Indeed, Ritsuka was happy._

Soubi was still unsure. But when the young boy took a leap towards him and right into his arms, he felt his doubts and fears swep away. Ritsuka was happy, so the fighter was happy, too. He had to make safety precaution, though.

-----------------------------------

"What do you want?"

Natsuo rubbed his eyes while Youji yawned. They were currently sitting on the same couch Ritsuka had been sitting on an hour ago. Soubi was standing in front of them, arms crossed, face determined.

"I want you to go to school. From now on, every day."

"What?!"

Both teens jumped up, shock clearly written all over their faces.

"No no no! No way!"

"Yes way. I need you two to keep an eye on Ritsuka since I can't go with him."

"But…"

"No buts. You will attend school to look after Ritsuka. Make sure that he's absolutely safe."

Youji groaned while his fighter simply sighed. They both knew it was useless to argue with Soubi about Ritsuka's safety. The adult was determined.

-----------------------------------

"Good morning, class."

Shinonome-sensei smiled when she turned around to face the children.

"I have some news for you. First, your classmate Aoyagi Ritsuka will return to school tomorrow. Since he's going through a very tough situation I want you all to welcome him kindly. Don't ask him any questions. Please help him in any way. We'll talk about this later. Second, there will come two new claasmates with him. Please help them settle in, too."

The pupils started whispering about these news. Yuiko simply cried in joy. Her Ritsuka would come back… Yayoi on the other hand groaned. He had enjoyed this time alone with his not so secret love, even though the young girl had lost her usual cheer. His shoulder sank in defeat when Yuiko turned to him with a big smile.

"Did you hear that? Ritsuka-kun will come back! That's so great! I haven't seen him in such a long time… you think we should visit him today after school's over?"

Yayoi's sad expression didn't change.

"We don't know where he lives now. That's why we haven't visited him before."

Yuiko's smile faded.

"Oh… right. That's so bad… I miss him… But he will be back tomorrow, right? Then he can tell me!"

Her smile was back and Yayoi groaned once again.

Shinonome-sensei turned aand threw a glance onto the papers she had received. Natsuo and Youji… two new students for her class. Did she know them? Why weren't there any reports from old schools about them? Suddenly she felt a cold shiver run down her spine. This was not good…

-----------------------------------

"What do you mean, speechless?"

"The boy has lost his voice. It's a perfect opportunity for us to finally get him. He can't call out for Soubi. If we still want to get him, then now."

"Don't you think he will be guarded even more than before?"

"Don't worry. We'll find a way. After all, we have our orders."

End of Chap. XV

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Hello everyone!

So it has been really 3 month since my last update? **hids in shame**

I'm sorry, everyone. I got really caught up in my life. I'm in my last year of school and also ran out of ideas. I'm still not sure about Soubi's job. First, I wanted to make him a teacher but that idea is old. Any ideas? I'm not sure. Also, I got the request for a speel battle. I have to admit, I'm not very good in describing such a situation but that won't hold me up from at least trying it. So there will be one battle coming up, promised. I know, the plot is very long, it will be even longer. Fact is, I want to keep it as realistic as possible. So I'm describing the situations as detailed as I can.

Thanks everyone for taking your time and please, don't give up on me. I'll try to update soon again. See you all than.

Bye, your Nico


	17. The first day

**Chapter XVI: The first day**

" … and don't talk with strangers, don't go with them, don't even look at them. And if someone offers you candy, just ignore him. And come home right after school's over. And don't go anywhere without Youji and Natsuo. And…"

_Ritsuka rolled his eyes. He was standing in front of Soubi who was currently busy with giving him a speech, raised finger, serious voice and all. Ritsuka shoke his head, He felt like a little child on his first day of school. Why was his fighter so nervous? It was not like he went to school for the first time, right? If the adult continued like this, they would stand here in the foyer for the next few hours. Ritsuka had enough._

Soubi was in his element when he was interrupted. Ritsuka grabbed his lunch out of the adult's hand, hugged him one last time and ran to Natsuo and Youji who were waiting for him in the door. Soubi blinked and sighed.

"I'm just worried. Please be careful."

His sacrifice turned and nodded with an unusual big smile. Soubi sighed once again.

"Have fun, Ritsuka."

The teen waved his goodbye, turned and left the house. The Zero's threw one last angry glance at Soubi before following him. The artist sighed. He was still very unsure. After all… it was the first time he let his sacrifice out of his eyes. Ritsuka would go back into a cruel world... He didn't like the thought of leaving his little boy alone. His heart told him to reach out for his sacrifice, to hold him tight so that nothing and no one could hurt the fragile boy while his mind knew the truth. Ritsuka just couldn't stay in the house forever. He needed other people whom he could trust. Maybe he would even open up to Yuiko or Yayoi… maybe he could talk with **them**… although it would hurt Soubi. The tall adult sighed, then turned to prepare for his first day back at work. After all, someone had to earn money.

-------------------

"Do you want to know what happened to me yesterday? I was on my way home but then suddenly… Yuiko- chan? Are you even listening to me?"

Yayoi sighed. Ever since they had entered the school building the cheerful girl seemed to be glued to the window.

"Yuiko- chan? Hey, Yuiko- chan!"

"Huh?"

Finally Yuiko seemed to notice her friend. She turned and laughed.

"I'm sorry, Yayoi- san. But I'm so happy… Ritsuka will come back…"  
She laughed happily and turned back to the window. Yayoi just sighed, then turned to see Shinonome-sensei open the door. The young teacher sat down at her desk and smiled.

"Good morning everyone. Please sit down."

Her smile was happy and wide.

"Today is a special day. Like I told you yesterday, your classmate Ritsuka will finally come back. Please remember what I told you about his… special situation. I hope you all know how to behave around him. Now on with today's lesson."

-------------------

"How do you feel?"

"What do you mean?"

Soubi looked up from his work to Kio who was painting next to him. His blonde friend smiled.

"Come on, you know what I mean. After all, it's the first time you let Ritsuka out of your sight."

Soubi sighed and continued his work. He needed to finish his painting since the client wouldn't wait any longer. His voice was distant to Kio's ears.

"… it was time to let him go. It won't help him find his voice again if he stays in the house forever. If anyone can help him then his friends."

Kio knitted his brows in confusion. He had expected an other answer…

"So… you're not worried about that brat? I mean… it's a big big world and he's all alone now… I'm surprised you aren't following him."

Soubi smiled a tiny smile.

"I can't follow him into school. But he's not alone. Youji and Natsuo are with him."

Kio yelped and took a leap back.

"What?! You made those two go with him?! Are you crazy? Don't you know what they could do with him?!"

Soub simply sighed and glanced down onto the photograph. This client of him was really hard to paint…

"They won't do anything with him. Noone will ever hurt Ritsuka again. I've promised him that… and myself, too. Zero is with him to protect him when I'm not able to."

Kio's mouth was wide open, all the young man could do was blink. Finally he caught himself and huffed.

"Yeah… that's the Soubi I know. Hentai…"

"Kio… I'm no hentai."

Soubi frowned. 'I'm just a desperate man trying to protect the one I love. I just hope that I didn't make a mistake…'

-------------------

_Ritsuka was happy. Very happy. Finally he was able to see his friends again. He knew they would ask questions, too. That was understandable… he had been absent for quite a while… But that was okay. Children were naturally curious, he knew that all to well. They would stop once they found a more interesting topic. He would survive that…_

Behind him, the male Zeros scowled. Neither Youji nor Natsuo were happy about the turn of the events. They had never attented school, except for their own which was much more interesting than a normal school could ever be. No, they were not happy and they weren't Zero if they wouldn't let anyone around them know that.

-------------------

The class was absolute quiet while Shinonome-sensei wrote on the black-board. Everyone turned when someone knocked on the door and Ritsuka stepped in. Yuiko was not the only one stretching her head to take a glance at him. Their old classmate hadn't changed much, his dark hair had grown a few inches but that was all. Yuiko couldn't help, she jumped up to throw her arms around her friend's shoulder. She cried with sheer happiness:

"Ritsuka-kun! I'm so happy… I was so worried about you…"

The class laughed while Ritsuka twisted uncomfortable in Yuiko's tight embrance. The young Teacher smiled.

"Welcome back, Ritsuka. I guess you still know your classmates. So just sit down and listen to my lesson. We will talk later about the lessons you missed."

Ritsuka managed a nod before Yuiko dragged him away. Shinonome-sensei smiled, then turned towards the door. She frowned.

"Aoyagi-kun, were you alone…"

There was it again, this feeling. A cold shiver running down her spine… it nearly paralized her. Why was she suddenly so afraid? Slowly, carefully, she glanced towards the door. Two teenager were standing in the entrance, one with long greenish hair, the other one's curled around his head. Both had their arms crossed and simply starred at her. Their eyes… they were… different from the eyes a normal teenager would have. There was something in them…

Natsuo smiled.

"Yo, Youji… Look who's there…"

His sacrifice nodded, falling into the same smile.

"I can see, Natsuo. Looks like we will have a lot of fun…"

They shared one mischievous glance. Shinonome-sensei swallowed. She had to be very careful with those two around…

-------------------

Outside the school gates pedestrian were walking, crossing the street, busy to take care of their purchase. No one noticed the two men starring at the large building. Both their eyes were narrowed, observing.

"So he's attending school again, right? It will be very easy to approach him once he is alone. Maybe on his way home…"

"But Zero's with him. I doubt we'll get a chance. Knowing Soubi, he made pretty sure that his sacrifice would never be unprotected."

"Guess you're right. Zero is strong, we have to be careful. I'll talk with sensei about this. He'll know what to do."

-------------------

The car came to an abrupt halt when Soubi's foot nearly broke the brake. Even though he knew he was exaggerate, he head left his work early, just to make sure Ritsuka had survived his first school day. Through the day, he couldn't help but think about all possible dangers his boy could be in. He was a independent artist, after all, so his work could wait a little bit longer. He hurried to rush into his house, their home. Shutting the door behind him, he started searching the building for any signs of his dear sacrifice. Finally he found him, sitting between Natsuo and Youji on the living-room floor in front of the tv. Soubi sighed relieved and walked to the teens. Sitting down on the couch he turned to watch them. Neither Zero nor Ritsuka turned to greet him. The artist sighed.

"So tell me… how was your day?"

It took a while. Finally Natsuo answered, without turning to Soubi, of course.

"… it was alright. School's boring. You have to see our teacher, by the way."

Soubi sighed. As if he had known…

"And why is that?"

The answer was nonchalant and didn't help.

"Because we set the classroom under water."

Soubi frowned.

"You did what?! Why?"

This time, Youji answered. His voice was bored.

"Because we had to put out the fire."

Soubi's eyes twitched.

"…fire?"

"It broke out when we tried to play a prank on our teacher. That woman is so annoying. She really has no sense of humour."

The blonde man sighed and closed his eyes in order to regain his calmness. If it weren't for Ritsuka, he had already thrown the Zero- team out a long time ago. He knew it was no wise idea to send them to school. Those two had no respect for anyone beside themselves and each other. But someone had to protect his boy… His silence wouldn't hold their enemies up… His eyes fell on the darkhaired boy.

"So… how was your day, Ritsuka? Did they tease you?"

When Ritsuka turned to face him, Soubi was surprised with the sight of a happy smile in the young face. Ritsuka stood up and went to the couch. He offered a letter to his guardian. Soubi read it, then smiled.

"A letter from your class-mates? They've really missed you, right?"

Ritsuka nodded. Suddenly he threw his arms around his fighter's neck, embracing him tightly. Soubi was surprised but held the teen gladly. He assumed this was Ritsuka's way to thank him. Even though it was a hard time for the artist, he hated the fact of being seperated from his beloved, Ritsuka was happy. Soubi sighed and planted a soft kiss on the boy's temple. It would be a hard time but somehow he, they would manage.

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Hello everyone!

I was shocked to notice that it took me again two month to update my story. I'm sorry it takes so long, but I took my time to rethink the story. This is the boring part, don't worry, there will be action soon. I already know how the plot will go on, but it is hard to formulate it in English since I'm German. Thanks, everyone, for your loyality and patience. It really means much to me. **hugs you all** I'll try to update soon again.

Thanks for taking your time, your Nico


	18. Memories

**Chapter XVII: Memories**

"So you still don't want to talk with us, right Ritsuka?"

The boy sitting in front of her nodded. His dark eyes were fixed on the soft carpet. Shouko-sensei smiled.

"Don't worry. We don't want to force you. You decide for yourself when you want to talk with someone about what happened that night at your home."

His eyes narrowed, his message was clear.

NEVER.

The psychologist sighed. Gently her hand closed around one of the smaller ones.

"Ritsuka. I know that it must be very hard for you. What you have already experienced in your life is way too much for one alone. Children should have a nice home, with a mother to love them, a father to teach them and brothers and sisters to play with them. Just a nice and warm place where you can return to whenever you feel the need to. Isn't that what we all want?"

Ritsuka's hands were shaking. The woman smiled gently.

"It's alright. You have such a home now, too."

He sobbed quietly but nodded slowly. She gave his hand a reassurend squezze before opening a drawer of her desk.

"I have something for you, Ritsuka. Look. It's a present."

The boy hesitated but his curiousity was stronger. Shouko- sensei offered him a book. It was small with a little lock.

"This is a diary. You can write everything in it, your thoughts and memories. It has a lock so no one can read it except you. It is completely safe and will help you."

She laughed when Ritsuka frowned.

"A diary is not only for girls, you know. It helps to write things down which you can tell no one. It is up to you if you use it or not. It is your own decision."

It took a while but then the teenager nodded.

---------------------------------------------------

"… we've tried to approach Loveless but he wasn't alone. Zero was with him."

Kono yawned. He was leaning against a wall in a small alley listening to his partner and sacrifice, Timo, who was on the phone with their sensei. The brown-haired teen was bored, he just hated waiting. Timo had insisted on talking with sensei, even so Kono was sure he could beat Zero without any effort. His sacrifice didn't like fighting, so he used every chance to prevent getting into a spell- fight. Another yawn, then he glanced back to the building Loveless had entered just a few moments ago. Why was it so hard to kidnap such a young teen? They had already fulfilled more difficult task. Why did they have to…

"Sensei wants us to retreat."

"What?"

He frowned in surprise and turned to see Timo closing his mobile. The red- haired sacrifice sighed.

"Sensei thinks it's best if he himself takes care of Loveless. He doesn't want us to interfere with that guy any more."  
When his fighter unit didn't respond Timo laughed and slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"I thought you didn't want to go anyway? Are you complaining now or what?"

Kono frowned and shook his head.

"No, of course not. But isn't it a bit strange for him to take care of matters himself? He always lets his pupils take care of the minor problems. So why is he calling us back?"

Timo smiled before pulling the slightly smaller teen towards him.

"Don't worry, that means nothing. I bet it's because of Soubi."

Kono still didn't seem to be convinced but shrugged anyway.

"Well, at least we have some free time now. What do you want to do?"

---------------------------------------------------

_It was already near dinner- time when Ritsuka was finally able to leave the building. His grip around the diary was loose. He still thought this was a stupid idea. Diaries were for girls, not for big boys like him. This was ridiculous… he wouldn't use it. He huffed than looked down the streets. There was no sign of Soubi. That guy had promised to pick him up. So where was he? Ritsuka sighed. Another broken promise… he should have known it. Well, he didn't have another choice, he would have to wait. The way home was too long to walk. Also he had to promise Soubi that he would wait for him. Otherwise, the fighter wouldn't have let him go on his own. So he sat down on the stairs and glanced at his diary, mentally cursing his guardian for letting him down._

---------------------------------------------------

Once more his eyes fell on the watch. Damn, he was late. Ritsuka woud be very angry with him… Soubi sighed than turned his attention back to his client. That guy was really persistant. Everytime Soubi thought he was satisfied, there was a new problem with the portrait. With each passing minute he became more nervous. Ritsuka was waiting and he was all alone in the big town… if this guy didn't leave soon he would just have to throw him out. He couldn't wait much longer…

"So what about this one, mister?"

---------------------------------------------------

_Ritsuka had enough. He was waiting for nearly half an hour now and still there was no sign of Soubi. This was not fair. His dark eyes fell on the diary that was lying in his lap. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind. His old home was near… since it had belonged to his family it was still empty. Ritsuka bit his lip, then made his decision. He stood up._

---------------------------------------------------

Finally the man was gone. Soubi sighed relieved, grabbed his coat and closed the door behind him. Then he lost no time in hurring down to his car, starting it. The motor gave a loud noise… before breaking down. Soubi groaned when smoke escaped. Someone above just had to hate him. Great, just great.

---------------------------------------------------

_Ritsuka walked down the street, the grip around his diary tight. He didn't know why but he had this strange feeling. It was the first time ssince that night that he would see his old home again, the house which held so much memories, good and bad. This was hard but it was also something he had to do. He had to come to terms with his past. The grip around the book tightened while he crossed the street not noticing the tall figure looming behind him._

---------------------------------------------------

Soubi panted hard. He had run the whole way down to the building where his sacrifice was waiting for him. Only there was no sacrifice outside and the doors were already closed. Soubi groaned and fell on his knees, exhaustion wearing him down. Just where was his boy? Maybe he had already went home? The fighter sighed. He had to hurry if he wanted to keep up with Ritsuka. It was already getting dark and the town was dangerous for children.

---------------------------------------------------

_Nothing had changed, the house was still the same. Ritsuka swallowed hard. It was so quiet here… there was no life in this building. Each room he had walked through held so many memories… of Seimei, his father, his mother, the yelling and noises from broken dishes… but now it was so quiet… Ritsuka could__ feel his body shaking, he was near his destination. The kitchen… where everything had started. Slowly, ever so carefully he reached out to grab the handle. He could already hear her washing the dishes. His mother… the woman who had born him… given him his life… he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. Slowly he smiled.. He would just walk into the room, his mother would hug him, tell him she loved him… His smile became sad. No… this wasn't right. His mother couldn't be there, waiting for him. She was dead. Suddenly everything came back, each horrible memory was visible in his mind. His hand fell back to his side and he sniffed. This was too much. He turned and ran back down the hallway and out of the door only to run into something. While falling to the ground he lost his diary. Slowly he looked back up. He had run into a __tall figure standing in front of his house. Ritsuka frowned. He couldn't make out the features in the darkness but he could tell that it was an adult, a man actually who was starring down at him with a smirk._

"Hello. Nice to meet you, Ritsuka."

_The boy's eyes became wide. How did this guy know his name? Who was this man? The adult threw a glance towards the building._

"Are you alone tonight?"

_His eyes fell back onto the shaking teen._

"That's quite dangerous for such a young child. Aren't you afraid?"

_Ritsuka came back to his senses and quickly shook his head. A little bit to fast… The man simply smiled._

"Well, that's good than. I bet you're curious why I know your name, right? Actually, I came to meet Seimei. Is he there? I'm a friend."

_Ritsuka blinked but remembered to shake his head. No, Seimei was not there nor would he ever be again. The man sighed._

"Well, that's bad. But maybe we could go inside to wait for him? Or we could go somewhere to talk? I'd be very happy to get to know Seimei's little brother. Would you like to come with him?"

_Out of instinct Ritsuka moved back. This guy had an aura around him that made him want to run away… far away. Suddenly he remembered Soubi's warnings: "Don't talk with strangers." "It's a dangerous world for children." Something inside his head snapped. He just knew he had to get away and that fast. So he grabbed his diary and hurried to come back to his feet. He gave the stranger no chance to grab him, instead made a dash for it, running all the way back home. There he shut the door behind him and sighed a sigh of relief. He just wanted to climb up the stairs to fall into his bed when he heard someone calling his name. He turned just to see Soubi hurring towards him. Then there were strong arms around him pulling him against a broad chest and Soubi's voice filled his ear:_

"Ritsuka! Thank Godness… Are you alright?"

_When he gave a simple nod the tall fighter started shaking him._

"Where have you been? God Ritsuka… I was so worried about you! Don't you know how dangerous it is for such a young boy to be out on his own at this late time?! Someone could have kidnapped you or robbed you or molest you and no one could have helped you! And then what?! I didn't know where you were! How would you…"

_This was too much._

Soubi stopped instantly once he noticed the frightened eyes starring at him. Ritsuka took his chance to break free from the now loose grip and dashed up the stairs and into his rrom. Soubi sighed and turned towards the Zero boys he had just made to come searching with him. Youji grinned satisfied while Natsuo simply shrugged out of his jacket.

"Looks like you owe me a dollar!"

Soubi groaned. This was just not his day.

---------------------------------------------------

Later that evening Soubi walked up the stairs stopping in front of Ritsuka's door. He

couldn't sleep knowing his boy was angry with him, maybe even frightened. He breathed deep

in, then knocked quietly.

"Ritsuka? Can I come in?"

He could hear movements from the other side of the door but there was no sign of a "no". So he opened the door and stepped inside.  
"Ritsuka? I just want to talk with you."

He frowned. His sacrifice was nowhere in sight. He would have started to panic again if he hadn't noticed the huge bump on the bed. Soubi smiled. Ritsuka had hidden under a huge pile of blankets and pillows… cute. Slowly, the artist crossed the room and sat down into Ritsuka's computer- chair facing the bump.

"I'm sorry, Ritsuka, for my outburst. I remembered you of your mother, right?"

No answer, of course. Yet, he continued.

"I was just so worried about. My car broke down today, so I had to walk the whole way. When I couldn't find you and you didn't come home… I started to panic. I thought something might have happened to you. That's why I reacted that way… When you came back I couldn't help but scream. I was relieved and let myself go. I'm really sorry for frightening you."

Slowly, ever so slowly the mountain of blankets moved revealing one huge dark orb curiously watching him. Soubi smiled, stood up and walked over to kneel down next to the bed.

"You know that you're very important to me, that I would never hurt you, right, Ritsuka? Not because you're Seimei's brother or because you're my sacrifice, just because you are you. You know that, right?"

Slowly, the blankets nodded. Soubi smiled.

"That's good. So you're not angry with me any more?"

This time Ritsuka shook his head.

"Thank you, Ritsuka. Now I can go to sleep without having nightmares. And you should sleep, too. It's already late for little boys to be up. Goodnight, Ritsuka."

With that Soubi left the room to walk into his own.

---------------------------------------------------

_It was already late at night when Ritsuka closed the door to Soubi's room. His nightmares were back, even more frightening since the incidents that day. It had been just too much. Ritsuka was unsure. Was it really alright for him to be here? This was Soubi's room, after all… yet he couldn't stand being alone this night. Quietly he crossed the room, careful to make no noise. He didn't want to wake the adult up. He would just sleep here tonight, in a corner or something… A shiver made him stop. It was cold in Soubi's room. Very cold, since it was already near december and the artist was quite immune to cold temperatures so that he never bothered to heat his room up. But Ritsuka was cold. And the corner didn't look very comfortable… He swallowed yet made his decision. Slowly, carefully, he climbed into the bed next to the sleeping Soubi. He would wake up and be gone again before the adult would notice his presence the next morning. Stiffling a yawn he snuggled deeper into the blanket and closed his eyes not knowing the taller man next to him wasn't quite as __asleep as he thought. _

Soubi had woken up when he heard the door to his room being opened. Now he couldn't help but smile. Ritsuka probably would never know how happy he made him with coming to him. It didn't took long before he dared to reach out, carefully pulling the now sleeping teen on top of him, arms wrapping protectivly around the small fragile body to shield it from the cold. Gently he kissed the boy's temple.

"I love you, Ritsuka."

End of Chap. XVII

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Hello everyone!  
I'm back with a very long chapter to make up for the long waiting time. And sorry for making Ritsuka sound like a small frightened child. I just don't know how he would react if something like this really happened to him.. As for Timo and Kono... actually, I don't like own characters in a traditional story. But I needed a team for the upcoming fight. I bet you already know who the man is, coming onto Ritsuka like that, right? I wanted to make it a little bit more exciting. Hope I managed...

Well, it's already late and I'm tired. So goodnight everyone and thanks for keeping your patience with me. I really appreciate it. Hugs to all of you and thanks for taking your time reading and reviewing my story.

CU!  
Your Nico


	19. Approach

**Chapter XVIII: Approach**

'_Dear diary,_

_this is the first that I write to you. I'm still feeling kinda silly. After all, only girls write in diaries. At least you won't tell anyone my secrets so I guess it's okay. A lot has happened since I moved in with Soubi, Natsuo and Youji. I can live with people I know, it's quiet here and I have my own room. Soubi's room is right next to mine but that's alright. He never disturbs me, strange right? I can almost do everything I want. He even lets me go back to school… my life is finally peaceful. If only… if only the dreams would finally stop. Every night they come to call for me. _

_Father…_

_Mother…_

_Seimei…_

_They want me to join them. I thought about that… I really did. Life is so boring right now… boring and hard. But I can't even though I really want to see them all again. _

_I miss them._

_Still I want to live, only for a little bit longer. My friends try everything to cheer me up. When I slept in Soubi's bed last night they didn't come. These dreams… they finally stopped. I don't know why. Maybe it was because of Soubi's presence. It was kinda… soothing. I've slept so well… and when I woke up this morning he was still fast asleep. He didn't even notice I was there… that's the best. Leaving was hard since I had been sleeping in his arms. Don't know how I ended up there but still… it felt good. Just like the times when I was sleeping in Seimei's bed. He would hold me tight and tell me "goodnight- stories" until I fell asleep. They are so alike although Seimei never lied to me. I could always trust him. Unlike Soubi… I still can't tell if he's honest with me. Only yesterday he once again broke his promise to come pick me up after visiting Shouko-sensei. So I went to my old home. Nothing has changed there since that night. It's still the same. After all, no one is living there. I couldn't stay long though, there were so many memories. And when I left the house there was this guy. He really was strange. He told me that he once was a friend of Seimei. I'm not sure if I can believe him. It's just like that time when I first met Soubi. He had this… aura… I don't know how to call it. His smile didn't reach his eyes. They seemed to be so lifeless… I'm really glad I managed to escape him. I have to be very careful. There are indeed a lot of strange adults out there. They all want me to tell them what happened that night back at my old home. The police-men, Shouko-sensei… I bet Soubi, too, even though he never asks. That's something I can't do either. I won't speak ever again. After all, I made a promise to myself. My voice is no good… all it can do is hurting others. Never again will I let something like that happen… never…_

_Aoyagi Ritsuka, March 31_

--

_Ritsuka closed his diary and locked it. Hiding it under his pillow he grabbed his school- bag and hurried downstairs where Soubi was already waiting for him. He handed him his lunch-paket with a huge smile. Ritsuka laid his head to the side. His fighter was smiling like this ever since they had met in the kitchen for breakfast. He hadn't seen the man like this for such a long time. It was a beautiful sight… very beautiful indeed._

"Ritsuka? Ritsuka."

_The boy blushed having been caught starring at the elder man. Quickly he grabbed his lunch which Soubi was handing him and hurried to leave the house. He didn't even hear Soubi's_ "Have fun." …

Soubi had a hard time to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. Suddenly everything seemed to be alright. Ritsuka hadn't noticed that Soubi had been awake the whole night. He had been able to hold his boy, to give him security. All these weeks he had felt like a failure. Finally Ritsuka seemed to trust him again. Even though he had sneaked in secretly that night, it was still a start. Soon Soubi would be able to make the dark-haired teen open up to him…

-- -- -- -- -- --

"Good morning, Ritsuka-kun!"

_Yuiko was cheerful as ever, greeting Ritsuka with her usual smile. He couldn't help but smile back. His life was suddenly so perfect… well, almost perfect. There were still these dark shadows that haunted him… but with his friends around he could avoid the memories, at least for a little while. For that he was very thankful to the ever happy Yuiko and even Yayoi who was once again glaring at him, for stealing all of Yuiko's attention, of course. It was their usual greeting ceremony, just like in the past before everything had gone straight to hell… Maybe he would find the strength to let go. With a happy smile he led the way to the entrance._

Youji and Natsuo were nowhere in sight- They had finally lost interest in annoying Shinonome-sensei and their classmates. Forgetting their task to watch over Ritsuka the two had left the young boy a few streets earlier to explore the city a little more. Their task was useless, after all, or so they thought.

Little did they know that the hawk was already on it's way…

_The rest of the school- day went over rather uneventful. Shinonome-sensei handed out the long awaited results from the last math-test which Ritsuka had passed quite successfully, Ritsuka had lunch with his friends and he enjoyed it, especially since Soubi had made his most favourite food, Ritsuka had soundlessly cursed himself for being unable to draw a realistic human body… it was just a normal school-day. Finally the last lesson was over and Ritsuka found himself once again outside the building. His "bodyguards" were still not back but that was fine with him. Protecting him was rather pointless since there were no enemies around, right? They had stopped annoying him for a long time now so it was more likely that they had given up on him. With no bad feeling he said his goodbyes to Yuiko and Yayoi and walked down the last streets to his home. Life could be so beautiful.._

"Hello there. Please wait for a moment."

_Instantly Ritsuka flinched. That voice again… Slowly he turned his head. An adult was walking up to him, a man actually. The boy frowned. It had to be the same guy he had met at his old home, the man with that terrible aura and that cold smirk… Only the smirk was no smirk this time. Out of instinct Ritsuka stepped back._

--

End of Chap. XVIII

Hello everyone!

Guess what, I've finally updated. I'm really sorry for the long wait, I hit a major writer's block. Even though I know exactly what way the plot will be going and what the results in the end will be but it's difficult to fill the empty parts. That's also a reason why this chapter is so short... and please forgive the boring school-day. I just wanted to show that Ritsuka is ready to move on. I'm doing my best to let the events flow easily so that they can be connected without trouble. It's always bad if there are questions of how things can go first this way, than suddenly an other way. Also I don't like stories that are unrealistic, so I try to explain everything that happens. If there are still questions or grammar mistakes, please let me know so that I can fix them. Thanks everyone who has been patient with me and please don't worry. I will absolutely not abandon this story. There are more problems coming! ;-)

Thanks everyone for taking your time and we'll see us next chapter!

Bye, your Nico


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